New here, new to all of it

[Bay]

I'm Bay. 26 year old female. Mixed race, black/white, raised in a rural area in a fundamental Christian cult, still recovering from the brainwashing and excommunication, 8 years later. Atheist. Struggle fitting into groups, skeptical of childhood sexual abuse. Social anxiety, panic disorder, codependency issues. Domestic abuse survivor, two abortions, fear of being alone. So much shit, not sure if this is more than necessary -overly apologetic...ha. I fight almost always feeling wrong, and submissiveness to old shitty white republican men. Parents separated at 3, feeling of needing to be all things to all people, always feeling the need to please my reference groups, no longer do this to compromise my beliefs. -B

[Bay]

Raised in the Midwest (Central Michigan), currently live in the Pacific Northwest (Southern Oregon), love the west coast. Finally free of all the work guilt, feelings of being lazy because of my depression (midwesterners pride themselves on their work ethic, valuing myself for the qualities I have. I FINALLY DON'T FEEL UGLY all of the time.

[Murphy]

Welcome! Sounds like you're getting to a positive place, which is awesome! Have you been to therapy? It can be so helpful.

[kayle]

I can also relate. 26 as well, raised in southern Illinois. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.