Struggling with loneliness

[Driftwood]

Hi everyone,
First off, thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm a 25 year old female who struggles with PTSD and depression, among a few other things. Currently I'm on medication which helps immensely. I was put on this most recent round as i had been self-harming and suicidal. I'm not a doctor but i think i may have BPD, which would explain a lot. Unfortunately seeing someone regularly for my mental health is not really financially possible for me but i have a pretty great support system in the form of family and also my room mate. My room mate was the one who discovered my suicide notes a few months ago when i was at my lowest and has been really helpful and supportive. She struggles with anxiety and insomnia so she has an empathetic veiw of my situation.

The last few months have been pretty good for me as i got a new job which i enjoy and gives me great stability and routine. I've also gotten an amazing group of friends who i have recently shared some really dark stuff with (childhood trauma etc.).

The past few weeks though everything has sort of taken a downward turn. I was very happy being alone and believed i would be for the rest of my life. I'm never interested in anyone romantically but i met someone that i really liked and we hit things off a bit. Unfortunately although we slept together (bad move) he said he can't be in a relationship with me as he has a has someone overseas he is sort of seeing and they are returning soon.

I know that was a kind of an asshole move on his part but i still can't help but like him nonetheless. His rejection has also pushed me into old bad habits. But most of all its made me realise how lonely i am. I don't think anyone will accept and love me as i am (both mentally and physically).

Anyway thanks again for reading and i am glad to be here.

[oak]

Hey Driftwood. Thanks for posting. I am glad you are using your words. Excellent.

I am sorry you are lonely. I am lonely too, so oddly somehow we are lonely together. I think there's alot of us worldwide.

I am glad your medications are having such a positive effect. That's great.

New job? Friends? That's the good life!

I am sorry for your romantic disappointment. Anything I'd offer would be sincere, but sound trite. I also don't have any profound to say about the self-harm and suicidal ideation. I hope things get better.

You seem like a good person. I hope good things happen to you in 2016. Take care.