Children of Catholics w/alcoholic/codependent relationships

[winifredgray]

I've listened to most of the podcasts and hear so much similarity in the stories, regardless of age. Occasionally Paul or the interviewee will say: parents of "that generation didn't know---" fill in the blank. Hate to say it but that hasn't changed--only the cast and calendar has changed! Kathryn Hahn is my kids' age, but her story is JUST like mine. I was the oldest girl, in a family of seven kids. I am 61, and my mother and father didn't get along and i felt responsible for her/their unhappiness. then i felt responsible for the kids, jesus! I began to feel it when i was in high school, but it is hard to have enough perspective when your are IN that kind of environment.

My mother died a couple of years ago--after a long gradual decline similar to ALS--but hers was caused by strokes. Because my parents didn't address their troubles, they didn't grow. But i did, and at some point i grew past them, which is a strange feeling, but one that i know many people feel as well. Anyway, i spent decades trying to make things right, or better, and in the end, it wasn't up to me at all--i finally figured that out at around 45. Yikes. My parents, like Kathryn's were always good decent people--and others liked them a lot. They did the best they could. But a lot of damage can happen when parents don't get along and they don't adequately differentiate themselves from the children.

what i'm trying to say with ALLLLL these words is--it doesn't matter what generation we're from, humans can make problems for ourselves and others in the same ways people have been doing for hundreds of years. The trick is to recognize it and face it--try to work it out as best you can, and learn from what went wrong. ANybody else know what I'm talking about?

[Paul Gilmartin]

Well said Winifred. I agree.

Paul