Re: Running on Empty: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect
Posted: October 28th, 2016, 9:39 am
Thanks for sharing that article! Definitely bookmarking to read in its entirety when I have time. I am really hesitant to adopt the PTSD label but from what I'm skimming it makes a lot of sense.
Just right from the first page:
“I know I’m hard on myself, but if I don’t constantly kick my own ass, I’ll be more of a loser than I already am.”
This is my self-talk 24/7.
My mom just sent me a new couch and I took a photo and sent a text to her to say thank you. She immediately responded with a snarky comment about my decor but then followed up with "but I'm glad you like the couch." My girlfriend pointed out that was a kind of mean thing to say but it didn't even register to me. All compliments or genuine emotional expressions are prefaced with sarcasm. I used to value the way my family interacted because I thought it meant we were funny and smart but when you can't genuinely compliment your own child it's not "joking" it's criticism and invalidation.
Just right from the first page:
“I know I’m hard on myself, but if I don’t constantly kick my own ass, I’ll be more of a loser than I already am.”
This is my self-talk 24/7.
My mom just sent me a new couch and I took a photo and sent a text to her to say thank you. She immediately responded with a snarky comment about my decor but then followed up with "but I'm glad you like the couch." My girlfriend pointed out that was a kind of mean thing to say but it didn't even register to me. All compliments or genuine emotional expressions are prefaced with sarcasm. I used to value the way my family interacted because I thought it meant we were funny and smart but when you can't genuinely compliment your own child it's not "joking" it's criticism and invalidation.