Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Woke up well.

I feel like I could do something today. A bee flew by as I thought that. The random appearance of creatures at salient moments is as ancient sign of confirmation.

I’m going to lean into not-doing-my-best. I’m going to invest less in other people but listen to them more carefully than I have before. If I become aware of stress I’m going to turn my attention to my breathing, however it’s coming.

And expect very little to change, even if it does.

And then we’ll see what happens.

Hodo-hodo

[Mental Fairy]

Your a beautiful soul my friend

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I faced some challenges again today.

I’m starting to think I can do things. Things that are slightly out of reach. Or where I don’t really know the ‘how’ but it doesn’t matter, because it will change several times anyway.

I listened better today. I cared less, was less invested but focused on the technical aspects more. Fudging it a little seems to be part of the trick.

It really comes down to the CBT exercises. They keep the normal stress levels down consistently across the day.

Its midafternoon and I feel like I got through intact.

[manuel_moe_g]

Howdy Beany,

how is CBT working for you, would you say?

For me, CBT does nothing for the gap I have between what i intellectually understand and what i feel to be true

when you are successful, where, in your body, do feel the messages you work on with CBT?

[Beany Boo]

I use a technique called ABC.

When a stressor occurs I write it down. Then I write down the antecedent (A) or what was happening for me just before the stressor appeared. Then I write down my behavior (B) how it changed as a result of the stressor interceding. Then I write down (C) the consequences, for me, of the behavior changing.

After I have processed it like that, it makes me immediately aware of the experience of the stressor. I reflect on how I’m objectively affected by it and how I actually responded.

I’ve realized after doing it for some time now that a lot of the stress encountered during the day is from not having the chance to have your own reaction to it. We’re just expected to move on, absorbing the stress as we go.

Processing it with this technique keeps the ongoing stress level low. In other words, when the next stressor comes along there’s less to fuel it’s effects. I’m less thrown by each new stressor as a result.

[snoringdog]

They keep the normal stress levels down consistently across the day.

a lot of the stress encountered during the day is from not having the chance to have your own reaction to it. We’re just expected to move on, absorbing the stress as we go.

That's interesting. I just came across a book "Breaking through Depression" by Dr. Philip William Gold, where he links depression to a mis-regulated stress-response system in the brain.

That feels right to me.
Experiencing long-term stress without a good way to manage it is draining and exhausting.

One example - we just had a major upheaval at work due to poor or mis-management. Got the notice that we had to pack up and move our department *within a week*, a week ago last Friday when I came in after being on the road!

WTF!...................... WTF!

(There were rumblings for the last couple of months, but no clear notification till now, then the scramble. Can I sue for malpractice? )

Anyway, I was gutted for the day, wanted to curl into a ball....

Better now after processing things and letting my boss know how ridiculous and wrong this was...

[Beany Boo]

Thanks sd

[Beany Boo]

Woke up rearing to go.

I turned my CBT technique into an automated workflow. It’s a questionnaire that populates a spreadsheet. I could just use a spreadsheet but I did it for the practice.

I’ve had a few unforced wins of late. Doing not-my-best it turns out, is a solid strategy.

It seems to be regularly overriding perfectionism.

My thoughts have slowed down somewhat. I suspect that’s what is doing it. Or, it’s the net result.

Midafternoon, here I come.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

My locus of control was more or less intact.

I managed to refrain from blurting out any ‘insights’ today. No one was asking

My focus remained high and light. Lots of holding then letting go then retaking hold.

I feel much less frustrated than under the same circumstances, previously.

It’s midafternoon. I made it.