I could Use Some Help

[Welp]

So,

I have struggled with Anxiety for a long, long time. More recently I have started to notice a creeping increase in the amount of alcohol I consume. At first it was one beer or a whiskey at night. Fine, plenty of people do that. Then two beers a night. Now it is up to sometimes three. I started to notice a few nights ago that I now drink even when I feel sick, or if I start out the day thinking "No beer tonight, big day tomorrow" a beer still ends up being had. I just want to relax.

Tonight for the first time in at least 6 months I have not had a beer or whiskey. And guys, I do not feel great. Maybe I'm just feeling sick from the summer heat? I ache. I ache from my head to my feet. I'm in bed, and I was hoping to get to sleep, but here I am instead.

I don't know if it is just a coincidence though, or maybe it is psychosomatic. My father was an alcoholic, and maybe something else I don't know. I remember him throwing things at me and yelling so loud my ears hurt. I have spent my entire life trying not to be that man. Is this fear about becoming him? Or do I have a problem? Does it even make sense to feel withdrawal in my case after just one day?

I'm sorry if this seems like a stupid little problem. I know people die from addiction. I just don't know who I could talk to about it. If I talk to any of my friends they would get way too worried, and if I talked to my family they would get mad.

Welp

[oak]

Hey Welp.

Are you feeling any better?

[Welp]

Hey Oak,

Yeah I'm alright today. I'm exhausted since I didn't sleep all that well last night. Alright, down right little. A lot of tossing and turning. I am still not really sure it was not drinking or if I came down with something. I guess it really doesn't matter right? Sick is sick. Trying to take the day easy, but mostly what I want to do is go on a cleaning spree. I remember once Paul said on the show "The difference between anxiety and depression is depression you can't get out of bed, and anxiety you can't get in it." Boy, how right.

Thanks for checking in. I re-read the posts I did last night and I guess I really spilled the beans. Maybe that is what needed to happen.

Welp

[oak]

Good. I am glad you are posting here. We are only as sick as our secrets.

For fun, I encourage you to try what really helped me: No screens after 10.

No tv, phone, tablet, laptop.

Within a few days of doing this I started to wake early, without trying.

They claim that screens (unlike lightbulbs) activate a fight or flight response. I have no idea if that is true, but I know I am sleeping much better.

Something to consider! Hang in there.

[Imissmysun]

Hey,

I was reading your thread and I think that your body can become dependent on a substance inbibed daily - even if it is one or two - I don't really drink that much when I do it is wine and it is not even a glass - however - I do love my carbs - and I know that my body has totally pavloved on that stuff - it wants what it wants - it also thinks it needs caffeiene on a regular - you can go through withdrawal of anything you have had consistently - I think that greif is a form of withdrawal if you ask me - we become emotionally dependent on those that are close to us - when they are gone cold turkey - well the network goes down -

Deep breaths - relax with some deep clean breaths and a look outside- its summer and nice most everywhere - I find that most relaxation techniques center around breathing (I think that the reason people think they need to smoke is it gives them a tool to feel a deep breath - the nicotene makes the tool necessary)

Be kind to yourself