I can understand on some level that I am not alone...

[Tinyfiddle]

But that doesn't help ease my loneliness. I know there are people who care. Where are they though? I am so tired of reaching out. Barely anyone returns the favor. The only thing keeps my me here is my kids. They shouldn't have that burden. I began wondering today if my death was accidental, or at least looked accidental if that would make it less traumatic for them. So tired. I was surrounded by friends yesterday for thanksgiving and yet I felt lonely. Today I question if they are really friends, if I have any.

[manuel_moe_g]

Take care, Tinyfiddle.

[Beany Boo]

Your friends could well be lonely too but just as they can't see you; your loneliness, you can't see theirs. Be careful trying to assuage your lonely feelings through your kids. They're going to miss that when they go out on their own, and will feel lonely like you do now; just as it's possible your parents used you to deal with their loneliness; it's a cycle. The best I can offer is, show them a healthy relationship to loneliness; your kids and friends alike; don't mask your efforts to come to terms with it from them.

[AtomicCowgirl]

I so hear what you're saying. While at times knowing that others are struggling just like I am helps, there are also times I'm painfully aware that I'm still here, in my head, alone. Being alone is hard, but at the same time one of those facets of life that we have to cope with, and it hurts when we make the effort to reach out and don't get much response. I've had that happen too, and it made me feel cynical and distrusting of those who say they care. Later work in therapy helped me to understand that perhaps they were fighting with their own demons and not equipped to help me face mine at that time.

Do you at least have a therapist you can talk to?