Can you cry?

[camdendayton]

I can cry at just about any other person's pain and suffering, and even something inspirational. Crying for myself is more difficult (probably because has something to do with not being kind enough to myself) but I'll cry upon hearing a song (my favorite way to make myself cry ATM is to watch Susan Boyle's _Britian's Got Talent_ audition. [If you've never seen it I recommend spending 5 min and doing a google search: it's heartbreaking and inspring all at once. The song she sings is I dreamed a dream{/i] from Les Mis.] Other sure triggers at times have included obscure indie songs by (esp by Swearing at Motorists), less obscure indie-emo songs (think earlier Bright Eyes) and even Olympic swimming (long story.)

[camdendayton]

Just wanted to add, I did have a sobbing panic attack last night...

[Nevina]

I used to be on meds that prevented me from crying. That was horrible and was the main reason I stopped taking them. Can't remember which one it was now....

I can cry sometimes. When I'm PMS'ing - LOOK OUT! DAMS A' BURSTING! During those few days, I cry at everything and nothing. At other times of the month, it's more difficult but it's possible. Especially if I'm feeling overwhelmed or... when I miss my cat who died a few months ago, or whatever. Right now I'm feeling so pent up and I just can't let it out. I can't listen to songs that used to make me cry, because they no longer do once I've worn the newness off of them. I tried listening to a new sad album (Steven Page - Page One), but it didn't work. I tried some podcasts, but no luck. (MIHH has not made me cry so far, but I've only heard about 1/3 of them. A few episodes of WTF had me bawling - Todd Hanson!!! - but again the newness is gone now). I just need a damned spark. It's useless. I'll just wait ~6 days until I start PMSing.

[Simon]

I actually find myself crying more as I get older, especially when watching movies. I've always been a soft touch for films, but I think I get more emotionally involved in them these days, which I'm wondering has anything to do with how I deal emotionally with the real world, which is often far less entertaining and satisfying.

[PalmcorderYajna]

I am new hear. I posted an intro in the proper forum but I feel like I have a unique perspective to add to this.

I am a transwoman. I have been on hormones for almost one year and I notice that I am suddenly able to cry. Now I really hesitate to just assume that I am following some cliche. I think in many ways, that becoming more comfortable in my gender identity allowed me to more properly let my emotions out. I used to try to hide them as much as possible. I remember a few months ago, I was talking in therapy about my trust issues, and how I was feeling bad because I had friends that loved me so much but I was unable to make my brain trust that that was true, and I just started crying. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting it to happen at all and at first tried to hide it. My therapist (who I think is wonderful as she is the only therapist who has allowed me to make jokes about my issues and not assume that everything I am saying is sincere, she even is able to joke with me) pointed out that it was therapy, and a lot of people do that. I have cried a few more times in therapy. I have noticed a big trigger for me, especially when I am having a depressive episode, is people showing me any amount of kindness. Last night my dad made me a burger and some rice (I earlier said I wasn't hungry and just went off to my room to feel suicidal and terrible). I came down and took a bite of rice and started tearing up.

[kitkat]

I have never been able to cry very often, and I still can't if other people are around. When I was younger, I thought there was something wrong with me because, well, being a girl, you're supposed to be emotional, I guess, and my friend's would tell me I didn't have a heart because I didn't cry at sad movies or if we were having a fight or anything. I just couldn't do it. I avoid confrontation like the plague, so. I can only cry around my boyfriend, which is not fair to him, but that's the only time it happens. If I'm around anyone else, I just shut off. I want to be able to cry in front of my psychiatrist, but I haven't gotten there yet.

[Livian82]

It didn't take much to make me cry as a kid all you had to do is yell at me. And this kind of went on until I hit my early twenties. Now it only really happens if I'm at the end of my tether in general and am being chewed out for what ever reason because my patience has worn thin. Lately I'd start to cry but stop pretty much straight away. The other night was the first time in a while I've broken down in to sobbing, and usually after I just feel drained.

I used to worry more on meds I'd go to a funeral of someone close and not cry. But my attitude to that is everyone's entitled to their reactions regarding death and if you don't immediately break down you probably will at some point.

[sdjustinr]

When I was a kid I was told I was too sensitive, and my dad took me aside a number of times, with all his best intentions, and told me that crying is something that you do only when somebody dies.

I did have a the pleasure of having a really good cry recently though and I'd like to share it. I spent a day with my dad and little brother a few months ago and we had a lot of fun. I don't get to see them very often and I rarely get the spend the day with both of them. But we went fishing and had an amazing time..my dad happened to catch a giant living clam of all things, which we found hilarious.. later that night my little brother pulled out his laptop and showed me how to play this game he has been really into called minecraft.. well at some point he walked into the kitchen to eat dinner and the automated soundtrack for the game started playing this really oddly emotional little tune.. i had to go to the restroom because I started tearing up. The next morning I woke up, alone in my room, family gone, and played the song on youtube and cried for hours. I miss them so much.

[MalachiSometimes]

I just recently started listening to The Mental Illness Happy Hour on the recommendation of my counselor and I already am very enamored with it. This particular thread was mentioned in the opening monologue preceding Maria Bamford's episode, ( which I enjoyed so very very much) and it peaked my interest.

I have been in and out of therapy and on and off medication for depression and anxiety (to name a couple) since I was 16 and now at age 24 I am seeing a new counselor who has had me focusing more on my difficulties with expressing and feeling certain emotions. I mentioned as almost an afterthought that I very rarely cry and that things have been that way for sometime now. Growing up I was by the most emotional expressive and vulnerable member of my family and would cry, almost always unaccompanied. I was never directly told by my parents that this was a bad or shameful thing or that it made me a weak person but I think I picked up on those ideas somehow and through the rest of my childhood and adolescence different people and circumstances reinforced them. I have gone years without crying. Times I have been able to cry openly and in an emotionally raw way have been incredibly cathartic and important for me.

About three months ago when I started seeing my current counselor I had recently broken up with my girlfriend who I was and still am very much in love with. After mentioning to him that I have been unable to cry it became my mission for a time to try to induce crying through exposure to emotionally moving and sad movies, music, writing etc. After listening to all of my Ipod's Sadness Greatest Hits on repeat and sitting through the likes of Terms of Endearment, Up and a few really sappy movies I'm too embarrassed to name I came to the conclusion that maybe this isn't something that I can force or expect to happen overnight. I have put a good deal of time and effort into building emotional blocks and watching A Walk to Remember on my laptop in bed isn't going to dissolve them. So much for not being embarrassed.

Another huge component to this is the meds. I've taken a few different medications in the past 8 years but for the last couple have been on just a moderate dosage of Welbutrin which really has worked better than anything else in terms of benefits and low adverse side effects. Under the guidance of my counselor and prescribing doctor I have been in the process over the past few months of trying to go off medication entirely (something which in my strong opinion should only be done with a great deal of care, consideration and professional assistance). After three months of slowly tapering off I have been completely off meds for three days now. And while I could ramble on a great deal more about what that experience has been and currently is like what strikes me is that though I haven't cried, I have had moments of a very genuine sort of feeling that I associate with times in the past that I have cried. They have come without me prompting them really. Just today I was listening to the MIHH episode with Paul F Tompkins and he was telling a very simple but beautiful anecdote about running into someone who was visibly happy to see him and realizing and taking in maybe for the first time that he was possibly in fact a person deserving of that sort of affection and love from another person. And something in that had an emotional resonance in me that felt sad in a very genuine and... peaceful kind of way.

And so what I'm interested in really is hearing other people's experiences not so much with the inability to cry but with successes no matter how small or seemingly insignificant maybe not with actually crying but just feeling something that they have been unable or have had difficulty with feeling. If there's one movie or song or piece of poetry in particular that holds that significance then I would love to hear about them. I relish few homework assignments more than watching a movie or listening to a song or reading something and getting to feel like I at least tried to do something productive for myself. But I'm sure that there is much more that people have done to try and break through some of these emotional blocks and that is what intrigues me.

While I see an immeasurable deal of value in people coming together in a place and seeing that they are not alone in their pain or their struggles or their experiences one of the things I try to focus on in my life today is the solution. Sometimes that solution may be simply the realization and acceptance of what and who I am. That I am human and all of us seemingly damaged, dysfunctional fucked up people are in very good and very plentiful company. That my perceived flaws and defects are in fact the very things that make me whole. But a lot of it involves action. Taking the steps I can see towards a larger, fuller life.

In addition to the Paul F Tompkins episode which I highly recommend I'll also throw into the ring a video I came across that I had a very real emotional reaction to. Hope ya'll get something out of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

[Hail Ceasar]

I've cried maybe 4 times in my adult life; I' hold things in so any outward signs of emotion are foreign to me. The times I have though are usually the result of seeing/reading about a child being hurt. Pay It Forward wrecked me, and reading the Scarlet Ibis was just as bad.