"Needing" unhealthy coping mechanisms etc

[Squash]

Does anyone else feel like they "need" at least one unhealthy coping mechanism or something of the sort in order to function? For example, for a while I basically isolated myself entirely (except for going to work) and basically hid inside the internet almost 24/7, then when I stopped doing that because I was finally accepted to university, I was fine for a while and then suddenly I switched to cutting, and when I decided to try and stop that I was fine for a while and then developed an eating disorder. They're all different ways of coping, with different "systems" and stuff, but it seems like I need at least one unhealthy coping mechanism in order to function and keep myself getting up in the morning or whatever. I tried to do healthy stuff like knitting for a while, but it was an absolute flop and not successful at all. But does anyone else feel like they "need" an unhealthy coping mechanism or something in order to keep them functioning every day?

[kitterztoo]

I used to think that way for a while, because I wanted to do anything to not feel--not be in my own skin. I figured if it worked (former self-injurer for 23 years.) Then I went through several different forms of injuring because they stopped working. That's what I think is going on with you. Try it for a while, then stop; move on to something else just as damaging. It's like someone saying, "Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, but I got rid of my gambling addiction!"

It's all forms of trying to stay in control but they don't really work. It's hard not to bounce to a new one, especially if it isn't damaging to your body (gambling, shopping, internet, porn etc.) I know you probably know all this. Honestly, working hard not to do these things is exhausting, but it's worth it in the end. There's always a reason these maladaptive behaviors work short term. I hope you care enough about yourself to change the maladaptive ones into nurturing ones. You can't do it alone without support. You are worthy enough to treat your body better than you are now.

{hugs}

[moonlightwatie]

Yes!

If I don't cut, I don't eat. If I eat, I don't cut.

On occasion I'll not cut and eat, but it's not easy.

[uncool or not uncool]

I am in the throes of "needing" addiction--my current addictions are sleep, food, and porn. (I'm a female who's attracted to both sexes but who has only had hetero experiences.)

I am in a sh*tstorm of shame. Here are the reasons why I've been freaking out (yes, I am nerdy enough to put them in list form):

1. Recent plateau in my weight loss journey (lost 45 pounds; 25 to go)
2. Recent conversation with trainer (at gym) who said that if I want to look like a fitness model, I will really have to step up my working out and eating clean (I already work out 9 times a week and eat very clean). He's not pressuring me, he's just saying that if I really want to look like the people who win competitions, I'm going to have to live like they do.
3. Recent work with a support group friend on sexual abuse healing; we're at the most stressful part of the book (writing a letter to your abuser.)
4. Recent marriage of friend in #3; she has not been available to me for a few weeks (wedding prep and honeymoon)
5. Recent breakup last weekend from guy in my support group. Traumatic week. And I just talked to him for an hour and thirty-nine minutes, and we're friends again. *sigh*
6. At my friend's recent wedding (see #4), a girl in the support group took me aside quite forcefully (physically grabbing my arm) and said she was irritated with me for not revealing that I was in a relationship with guy in #5. I said it was none of her beeswax. She said, "Well, I'm happy that you're using those boundaries," in a nasty tone of voice and spun away on her heel. She later apologized. YUCK that I see her at meetings. I feel unsafe around her.
7. My period just started.

And so, I have this week been eating junk and pornography-ing like a madwoman.

I have diagnosed myself with complex PTSD, and I need to learn how to cope with that if I'm going to stop my addictions.

I know I'm stopping this post abruptly, but I'm exhausted and need to go to bed and want to post this before I sign off.

Thank you for reading.

[brave-girl-living]

I still feel I "need", but I am working on changing that. My very anti-smoking therapist is ok with me smoking cigs right now because I have been so good at cutting out (haha no pun intended) other unhealthy coping mechanisms needs, like self injury and food restriction. I don't always want to use so much caffeine and nicotine, but if it keeps me away from other things that are worse, than I am not going to stress over it right now.

[norskheks]

Yes. I'm a compulsive over-eater and my biggest trigger food is chocolate. I know I need to give it up for my health (not only is excessive chocolate bad for anyone, but I also have type 1 diabetes so the amount I eat really wreaks havoc on my blood sugar levels) but I seriously cannot imagine it. I'm trying to ween myself off by eating sugar-free chocolate pudding and whipped cream, but... deep down I know I'll just go back to the sugar, and that fat isn't good for me either, and is also part of the trigger (I've never looked at a package of fat-free sugary candy and thought "I NEED THAT NOW" like I do with chocolate, peanut butter, etc.). I have run out of my office in the middle of a stressful day just to buy a big chocolate bar because I just could not handle it without those endorphins. I've gone to OA but I haven't figured out how to be abstinent yet, and I feel like the only one at meetings who hasn't ever succeeded at abstinence. :/

[marcusfreestone]

I don't think you need to have a mental illness to employ coping mechanisms that can be unhealthy - how many executives get gout or ulcers from rich food? One of my friends hardly touches alcohol, has never smoked or taken drugs, but he drinks gallons of coke and I'm convinced all the sugar is really bad for him. I drink, smoke and overeat but if I didn't have the stress relief these things bring me I would have killed myself years ago, so I look at it as a balancing act. Even if you live on rabbit food and mineral water you'll die eventually anyway. I'm not advocating a hedonistic indulgence in everything bad, but you have to get some perspective on life. Too much of anything is bad for you - coffee, chocolate, even water - so do things you enjoy in moderation and get in plenty of walking and sleep and you'll be as healthy as you need to be. Health is also a genetic lottery - I ate 5000 calories of chocolate a day as a child, plus 3 or 4 litres of coke, and by all logic I should have type 2 diabetes and tons of other health problems but I don't. Everyone had coping mechanisms, whether they're psychological (which CAN ALSO BE UNHEALTHY) or physical. It's just a question of managing them and keeping your life in a state of relative balance.