My Issues
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Antiqua
- Posts: 19
- Joined: June 9th, 2018, 11:17 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Childhood sexual abuse, depression, self harm, rape, PTSD, binging, anxiety
- preferred pronoun: she
My Issues
After listening to the podcast for a few months, I decided to join. I have lots of issues. The field for issues is limited to 80 spaces and my issues are more than that. Can you please make the field for issues a bit longer? Thanks.
Be brave, be kind, be true, be you.
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bigeekgirl
- Posts: 402
- Joined: December 9th, 2012, 9:17 pm
- Gender: female
- Issues: depression/anxiety. co-dependence, disordered eating/using food to cope
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: South Carolina
Re: My Issues
Welcome, Antiqua! Please feel free to share in detail. We are hear to listen and support you.
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Antiqua
- Posts: 19
- Joined: June 9th, 2018, 11:17 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Childhood sexual abuse, depression, self harm, rape, PTSD, binging, anxiety
- preferred pronoun: she
Re: My Issues
bigeekgirl, thanks for the welcome. My issues are childhood sexual abuse, depression, self harm, rape, PTSD, binging, anxiety, inability to make decisions and some other stuff. I guess I haven't been able to post in the Introducing Yourself yet because I'm still getting myself together since I feel kind of traumatized. I just wanted to let Admins know that the box for issues was too short. 
Be brave, be kind, be true, be you.
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bigeekgirl
- Posts: 402
- Joined: December 9th, 2012, 9:17 pm
- Gender: female
- Issues: depression/anxiety. co-dependence, disordered eating/using food to cope
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: South Carolina
Re: My Issues
I understand completely. Someone who hangs around the forum mentions that fact in their signature. I imagine many of us have overlapping co-diagnosis to fill many many pages. I know it's always intimidating for me to explain my issues to a new doctor or therapist or even tell my life story to new friends.
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Antiqua
- Posts: 19
- Joined: June 9th, 2018, 11:17 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Childhood sexual abuse, depression, self harm, rape, PTSD, binging, anxiety
- preferred pronoun: she
Re: My Issues
I need to find a new therapist. I reel reluctant to have to open up to someone new and it all over again. Maybe I can get by without seeing a therapist. I just don't know.
Be brave, be kind, be true, be you.
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bigeekgirl
- Posts: 402
- Joined: December 9th, 2012, 9:17 pm
- Gender: female
- Issues: depression/anxiety. co-dependence, disordered eating/using food to cope
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: South Carolina
Re: My Issues
It is hard to open up to someone, but it's also important. I can read all the books and listen to the podcasts, but it's just not the same as being known and accepted, being heard. Humans are pack animals. We require interpersonal relationships to be healthy.
Part of what messed me up in the first place was lack of relationships and deep shame about my very existence. I was extremely isolated and enmeshed with my mom growing up and she's... well... her childhood was horrific and she did the best she could, but that didn't involve giving me what I needed to thrive or the social skills to bond with other people. Plus, I've moved around a ton as a kid and also as a grown up, so I don't have many people who share history with me.
I've had several different therapists during crisis points for a few months at a time. It was always hard to go to that first appointment, trying to explain the backstory to what landed me in that chair. I have been working with my current therapist about 15 months, usually 4 to 6 weeks between appointments, just to have a sustained therapeutic relationship. I'm blessed to have found a co-op where I'm paying out of pocked but it's reasonable, have the money and job flexibility to go when I need to go.
I've also been going to a support group for 10 months. I cannot recommend that highly enough. It took me about 7 years listening to Paul say it, but it's really changed the game for me. The people in that group are there for me and I am there for them. We can't do anything for each other but listen and share our own stories, but that's the most important part. It's hard and I still get nervous sometimes sharing or even texting and calling people, but it gets easier every time I get love back from my people.
Anyway, I'm rambling again and it's nearly bedtime.
Part of what messed me up in the first place was lack of relationships and deep shame about my very existence. I was extremely isolated and enmeshed with my mom growing up and she's... well... her childhood was horrific and she did the best she could, but that didn't involve giving me what I needed to thrive or the social skills to bond with other people. Plus, I've moved around a ton as a kid and also as a grown up, so I don't have many people who share history with me.
I've had several different therapists during crisis points for a few months at a time. It was always hard to go to that first appointment, trying to explain the backstory to what landed me in that chair. I have been working with my current therapist about 15 months, usually 4 to 6 weeks between appointments, just to have a sustained therapeutic relationship. I'm blessed to have found a co-op where I'm paying out of pocked but it's reasonable, have the money and job flexibility to go when I need to go.
I've also been going to a support group for 10 months. I cannot recommend that highly enough. It took me about 7 years listening to Paul say it, but it's really changed the game for me. The people in that group are there for me and I am there for them. We can't do anything for each other but listen and share our own stories, but that's the most important part. It's hard and I still get nervous sometimes sharing or even texting and calling people, but it gets easier every time I get love back from my people.
Anyway, I'm rambling again and it's nearly bedtime.