My older sister was diagnosed with social anxiety last summer and she's been living with my mother since. And the road to that living situation is very unfortunate because it happened because she tried to kill herself and she and my mother decided she should move back home and finish college there. And she's been getting better ever since, and I'm so happy about that, but it's exhausting. She's exhausting. And she has a vendetta against our mother that I have now become a pawn in. And I'm not at home (or even in the same country) and every so often, I get emails and Facebook PMs saying that I should be at home from her and...and I want to tell her to step off. To get a fucking hobby or something so she's NOT sitting at home drinking by herself, to talk to someone NOT me and NOT her boyfriend and NOT our mother. But I know that that is not okay. I cannot tell her to do something, no matter how much I think she needs to do it. She needs to do it on her own and I have a very important but limited influence. But it's like she's stuck in this transitional period, and I want her to move because moving means she's getting better and I want her to be better.
idk, I just really needed to bitch and I had nowhere else to go.
Sister with severe anxiety
Re: Sister with severe anxiety
Hi! This is a good place to vent, so you're where you should be.
As an older sister who feels like her little sister has to take care of her from time to time, thank you for being supportive.
Vent away!
As an older sister who feels like her little sister has to take care of her from time to time, thank you for being supportive.
Vent away!
Re: Sister with severe anxiety
I feel like I'm not being supportive, though. I just feel...I don't know...not useless, but unhelpful and frustrated and counter-productive. 
Re: Sister with severe anxiety
I think you are. You're asking questions about how to help her and being firm, yet loving. Wanting her to get better (for her own well being, not yours) sounds like support to me 
Ease up on yourself a little, you can't change her or do those things for her. Just be there.
Ease up on yourself a little, you can't change her or do those things for her. Just be there.-
Cheldoll
- Posts: 263
- Joined: September 12th, 2011, 2:29 pm
- Issues: Depression, anxiety, anorexia, sexually abused
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: Portland, Oregon
- Contact:
Re: Sister with severe anxiety
It's totally normal for people caring for family members with mental illness to feel burnt out. I think the fact that you're able to realize you can only do so much is not only understandable but healthy -- you can't sacrifice your own sanity in an attempt to help her all the time. Does she listen to this podcast? Since it inspires a lot of people to seek help and help themselves it might be the push she needs.
xoxo,
Chel
" Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do,
care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them.
You are not alone. " — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Chel
" Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do,
care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them.
You are not alone. " — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Re: Sister with severe anxiety
I've seriously considered directing her to the podcast 'cause I think there's stuff she would really relate to and that would really help her. Because while she's getting help, it's still a singular process for her. It's her, her therapist, and her very small net of support. Like, I want her to understand that she's not alone. Embrace the YANA and that stuff.
But I'm so scared to in case, like, she comes on to the forum and finds me or if Paul reads one of my survey submissions and she can recognize that it's me. Like, really stupid small things, but it's kind of a weird feeling to hand over something that feels really personal to me to someone else, because when that kind of thing happened in the past, I'm either just completely ignored or no one else likes or understands it.
But I'm so scared to in case, like, she comes on to the forum and finds me or if Paul reads one of my survey submissions and she can recognize that it's me. Like, really stupid small things, but it's kind of a weird feeling to hand over something that feels really personal to me to someone else, because when that kind of thing happened in the past, I'm either just completely ignored or no one else likes or understands it.