Today is really bad :(

[Geek]

I've been taking my meds like I'm supposed to, but I'm still cycling from mania right into debilitating depression.

It's just one of those days where I wonder of if I even matter. Do I contribute anything to society? Do I make a difference in anyone's life? Have I been too self centered?

I woke up very lathargic, and forced myself into work today. I don't want to be around my obnoxious supervisor or the backstabbing coworker. The obnoxious person really seems to irritate me & I'm not sure I can keep my mouth shut for much longer. I'm being pushed to travel, but I'm pretty convinced that the odd hours are throwing me into mania. Its not bad at the time, but I know the low is coming right afterwards.

I feel trapped because I can't seem to escape the depression. And I feel like people keep fucking with me (they're probably not. It just feels that way.). I have a appt with my pdoc this afternoon, I hope it helps.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks for keeping us informed on your current challenges, Geek! I hope your appointment with your doc help, too.

We all are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow! Please take care!

[Geek]

Thanks for listening! It sound like I'm going up to 400 mg Lamictal & probably Wellbutrin at some point.

I've got some travel coming up soon, and even though I complain about it I admit that it might be just what I need to get "outside myself". I'll be concentrating on getting to my destination and doing a short presentation so I won't have time to focus on negative things.

I went to my first bipolar support group, and I found that they are one of the best group of people I've ever met. They didn't scoff at my hypomania rantings I think I've been needing friends for a long time.

[ScottMentalPod]

When I was in my 20s I randomly mentioned I had problems with BP. They explained they had a friend with the same issue and the friend said as long as they got their sleep they were fine. I took the advice to heart. During my 1 and only time in the hospital for BP, I remember someone say, "if only they let me sleep I would have been fine." My point is sleep is important. If I can't sleep by 11, I take something for it. Benadryl normally does the trick. The higher you go, the lower you go. Then about 8 years ago I started taking Fish Oil and B12 and the symptoms went down even more. I also have a theory about the sun... which let me to never go into the sun without polarized sun glasses.

For me it all comes down to stress management. Stress creates pressure which causes a manic episode. Travel causes stress.

I'm GRATEFUL I'm full blown BP, the medication is much better than they used to be, and support groups are supportive.

[Geek]

Im trying to get enough sleep, and I was able to do that this trip. My pdoc suggested I can take Ambien for those times that my schedule gets weird. The Ambien scares me a bit, so I'm liking your Benadryl idea. I'm waiting to see how I do on 300mg Lamictal, but if it doesn't hold out I'm seriously considering the Welbutrin. B12 couldn't hurt...I didn't think about that.

[meh]

I've been taking Melatonin for sleep. You can get it in the vitamin aisle of any supermarket. I also have a mug of Sleepy Time Tea before bed when I have time.

I'm now getting 6 - 8 hours of good sleep and feeling calm and even.

Sleep is good.

[ScottMentalPod]

My post should have said, "I'm GRATEFUL *I don't have* full blown BP, the medication is much better than they used to be, and support groups are supportive."

Ya. Melatonin is good as long as you take it 1 time before you go to bed and super cheap. I tend to rotate what I take for sleep depending on the day I've had and the day I need to have tomorrow. Also consider using a SleepTime app on your smart phone. It works surprisingly well.

Also consider taking Fish Oil. I've read many articles over the years saying it helps.