My mother-in-law was diagnosed with bi-polar II about 11 years ago after she stopped drinking. She was properly medicated for many years and led a pretty happy life but about 5 years ago she (now she tells me) she thinks her meds stopped working and she went into a long manic state. I guess for someone who is bi-polar sometimes mania can be kind of fun or a high so she didn't really think anything was wrong and therefore continued her meds as usual. Long story short, she made many major decisions during this time that affected her life in a very negative way...she lost everything and everyone. After becoming very depressed and suicidal last fall my husband and I moved her to an apartment close by. I've tried my best to be her advocate through these hard times and we have become so much closer because of it but this is the first time I've ever had a close family member with a major mental illness and sometimes I just don't know how to be supportive. She has been trying to find the right cocktail of meds but she is such a rapid cycler that she has a very hard time feeling stable. A lot of the meds that most people take she has tried and don't work now because she was on them for so many years. She has also completed a 12 week DBT outpatient course. It's been 8 months of this and I feel so frustrated and angry that she's not getting better. I wish I could just grant her a month of sanity so she could have a little vacation from her crazy brain! My husband and I talk about moving to a bigger house so she can move in with us. She can't work because her bi-polar is so debilitating and has almost used all of her savings so we will have to help her financially anyway.
Does anyone have any hope they can share?
I am very thankful for this forum. Thank you!
My 60 year old Mom is Bi-polar...help!
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manuel_moe_g
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Re: My 60 year old Mom is Bi-polar...help!
Siggi, you deserve better than the situation you have been thrust into as a caregiver. Please be kind and loving to yourself. You don't deserve this pain and suffering. We here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
Re: My 60 year old Mom is Bi-polar...help!
Thank you for your kind words Manuel_moe_g. It's nice just having a place to vent where I know people will understand. Today was another rough day but I have hope that tomorrow will be better.
My MIL shared this article with me which I found pretty helpful. How to be supportive of your loved one during a bi-polar manic episode.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/bipolar-dis ... de/0008794
My MIL shared this article with me which I found pretty helpful. How to be supportive of your loved one during a bi-polar manic episode.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/bipolar-dis ... de/0008794
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irrationalpersist
- Posts: 40
- Joined: June 19th, 2014, 4:19 pm
- Location: west coast Canada
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Re: My 60 year old Mom is Bi-polar...help!
Hi Siggi, I am so sorry to hear of your situation with your MIL. So difficult. Remember when they give us the emergency drill before the plane takes off? The strongest are instructed to put on the oxygen mask first so they can help others get theirs on too. Your MIL is in need and you are being called to provide support to her. The first order of business is to establish your support network so that you aren't consumed by her condition.
My mother was extremely mentally ill with paranoid schizophrenia. I was a young mother with three children, the youngest a newborn. My mother could no longer live alone and we set up housekeeping with her with us in her own private bedroom. Little did I know the depression that was going to fall on me like the heavy, humid, suffocating felt blanket of a summer day in Boston. I was flattened and sought therapy for the first time.
Eventually I got strong enough to give my mother a choice: she could either agree to take her medication and live in a supported living house with other women, or she could refuse to take her medication and move into a locked facility where her live would be much constrained. She chose supported living and has been stable and safe ever since. That was in 1988 and today she is well and happy. Here in Canada her care is provided by the government. There is no way our family, each one of us struggling to build a life after growing up in conditions of trauma, neglect, abuse, emotional incest, and deprival, could muster the financial wherewithal to pay for her care. I feel very lucky to be living in this country.
The solutions that you will find your MIL are as yet terra incognita - an unknown land. More will be revealed as you work your way through the possibilities. Remember to give yourself enough mental, emotional and physical sustenance to meet the challenge. It can be done and you can do it.
Big hugs to you and your family, in adversity we grow stronger,
IP
My mother was extremely mentally ill with paranoid schizophrenia. I was a young mother with three children, the youngest a newborn. My mother could no longer live alone and we set up housekeeping with her with us in her own private bedroom. Little did I know the depression that was going to fall on me like the heavy, humid, suffocating felt blanket of a summer day in Boston. I was flattened and sought therapy for the first time.
Eventually I got strong enough to give my mother a choice: she could either agree to take her medication and live in a supported living house with other women, or she could refuse to take her medication and move into a locked facility where her live would be much constrained. She chose supported living and has been stable and safe ever since. That was in 1988 and today she is well and happy. Here in Canada her care is provided by the government. There is no way our family, each one of us struggling to build a life after growing up in conditions of trauma, neglect, abuse, emotional incest, and deprival, could muster the financial wherewithal to pay for her care. I feel very lucky to be living in this country.
The solutions that you will find your MIL are as yet terra incognita - an unknown land. More will be revealed as you work your way through the possibilities. Remember to give yourself enough mental, emotional and physical sustenance to meet the challenge. It can be done and you can do it.
Big hugs to you and your family, in adversity we grow stronger,
IP
