How to talk about it when there's nothing to talk about

[Murphy]

I've been off my antidepressants for several months because I'm trying to conceive. (My psychiatrist added an anti-anxiety medication, which helps a bit, but it's definitely not the same.) It's been a struggle. I've been irritable, and I've been having a hard time completing daily tasks (like making phone calls, running errands, etc). I've been a little more sensitive. And lately I've just been depressed. But I don't know what I'm depressed about. My husband knows that I've been struggling some, and my friends know a little bit, but I don't really talk about it that much. I'm not really trying to hide it, I just don't know how to explain it. My husband always says he's willing to listen if I want to talk about it, which I appreciate, but there isn't anything to talk about. I just feel shitty for no good reason, so there's nothing to explain. Last night I was just sitting at home alone with this pressure on my chest and a feeling that I just wanted to crawl into bed and never get out again.

I don't know what to do. I can't explain how I feel or why I feel this way. (I kind of feel dumb for being upset about "nothing" even though I know it's not my fault.) I don't see the point in going back to therapy right now, because I don't know what I'd talk about. I don't know if I should tell my husband/friends that I feel this way, because I think it would just bum them out. If there isn't anything they can do about it, there's no benefit. *sigh* Anyway, thanks for listening.

[Imissmysun]

Hi lady!!!

Copy the entry you just made put in in a printable format - print it and tell your therapist - have nothing to talk about - feeling numb feeling empty - THIS is what you go to talk about - the emptiness the feeling of loss of sadness with no tie to it - please start journaling when these feelings are peeking or more severe - (if anyting it just puts a little more thought and connection with your body and your feelings) - this is EXACTLY how I experience depression - NOTHING happened - NO triggers that I can think of - NOTHING major to report - and yet there it is this huge boulder of nothingness sitting on me not letting me do anything -

My therapist says our brains are way too good at protecting us that they pick up on really small body positions either our own or someone else's a tone of voice a thought behind a thought and it will go into protection mode - which means numbing out that trigger - withdrawing feeling the weight of the grey depression - checking out - all of that -

It takes a lot more looking into and investigating to get to the bottom of... because there IS a reason its just hidden under your layers of self preservation -

Please go talk to your therapist - get in weekly while you are trying to conceive and while pregnant and at least the 6 months after - having a baby is a HUGE stresser - going off meds is a HUGE change - and you ARE normal and there is a reason for all that you are experiencing.

I am sending so much love and hugs for you because you are living my truth right now - I have so much compassion for what you are feeling right now...

[judasiscariotjr]

The thread title sums it up! Well put.