Fuck weekends.

[Jitterz]

Does anyone else have those days when you don't have plans so you see no point in getting out of bed? Those are the worst days. Does anyone else feel like they could get out of bed they just wish they had someone to come carry them out of bed? I know it sounds childish. My boyfriend thinks that I need to go to a hospital or something if I am getting to the point to where I need him to come pick me up out of bed at 2pm on a Saturday just to help me get up and moving. I just don't think he understands my depression. I know he has struggled with ptsd and depression as well but his behavior patterns are different than mine. He was in the army and he's always been a help yourself kinda guy but sometimes I just need his fucking help to get out of bed!!!! That's all I ask!!!!!

[HowDidIGetHere]

I definitely hear you. Honestly, my job is my only sense of self-worth and my only reason for being anymore. The days I don't have to work are so full of anxiety that I almost can't see the point. I wind up blowing up at my girlfriend, getting suicidal, and basically being a complete meltdown champ. And then come Monday morning...poof! Magically everything is okay. Or at least I can pretend it is.

I'm guessing most people don't have these experiences, so I'm choosing to believe that I won't always have to have them either.

At least sometimes I choose that. Other times? Effit. Just effit.

Power to the (depressed) people.

[Jitterz]

Thanks for your response! I honestly feel like my work has become my comfort zone and today I had to leave work early to go to the psychiatrist and I did not want to leave work. Doing things out of my normal routine give me so much anxiety. Every time I have to drive to the Dr or anywhere really I have a major anxiety attack. I feel so afraid in these situations. And for nothing. I hate it. I feel like I'm going to be sick. Just the thought of driving in traffic and knowing I have to make a couple more stops before I get home is making me a nervous wreck. Sorry I kinda went off topic. I'm all over the place as usual...

[HowDidIGetHere]

All over the place. Pretty much standard issue for anxiety, right?

I totally get you though. One of the reasons work is such a safe place for me (usually) is that even when something comes from out of left field, it's likely to be one of a small number of things that I know what to do with. Someone's assignment is late, someone's not happy with the work, someone found a mistake—that kind of thing. Small problems.

But out in the world? Anyone and anything can come at me in ways I can't even imagine. So of course it's anxiety provoking.

Stay strong. All things change. Especially the things that feel like they'll never change.

[Jitterz]

Thank you for being so encouraging and taking the time to share your perspective. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.