Depressed because of my appearance.

[carmlin89]

Hey!! I'm very much depressed because of my pig like nose. Everyone in my school is making fun of me and it really hurts. I don't feel at ease when I'm surrounded by a crowd so I stopped attending any parties or functions in family or friends. I'm very much depressed because of this. Why should people make fun of others? Are they all perfect? It's been a week since I attended my classes because their teasing went overboard last time and I couldn't withstand it. I started to research about the ways to correct my piggy nose and found that a nose job can help. I was researching for the best rhinoplasty expert in Toronto and found Dr. Oakley Smith ( http://www.droakleysmithrhinoplasty.com/rhinoplasty/ ). Has anyone been to this doctor for a nose job? I hope my parents will allow me to undergo this procedure. They are compelling me to go for depression treatment from a clinic in our locality but I don't think I will get over this depression unless I undergo the nose job. Any advice is appreciated!!

[ladysquid]

I'd say it's best to get help for your mental health regardless if you are able to get surgery or not. It's really sad to hear how much pain other people's shitty behavior is causing you. A lot of people with depression struggle with their appearance whether it's weight or a disability etc. so if you can help alleviate some of the stress with a surgery it seems like a good plan. If you're not able to get the surgery now but you're able to see a therapist or psychiatrist, start there so when you are able to change your appearance you'll be emotionally supported throughout the whole process.

Hang in there

[walklikeanegyptian]

Dear Carmlin89,

Any professional plastic surgeon will not operate on you if you are a minor and experiencing anxiety about your looks due to bullying, without having you talk to a counselor first. You can talk to their counselor but I HIGHLY suggest you talk to an independent one. Bullying is NOT a good reason to get your nose fixed, and I can tell you from personal experience how important it is to learn to stand up for yourself and learn to love yourself; otherwise, you will spend a lifetime trying to please other people with your looks and that is a devastating way to live.

Don't get me wrong -- if you want to get your nose fixed eventually, that's totally cool. What ISN'T cool is getting your nose fixed and thinking that will stop the bullying. It won't. People will find something else to bully you about. Even worse, you will develop a terrible habit of always being on the lookout for people liking you based on your looks, or how you talk or what you think, etc. It's a terrible thing to do to yourself.

Ok, so you don't like your nose. I get it. I hate my hair -- not as much as I used to hate it, but I hated it for almost my entire life. In middle school, these boys would call me "Frizzie" and everyday would say "Hey, Frizzie, how many volts did you use on your hair last night? We saw the lights flashing in the windows of your house! Hahahahah!" I was humiliated and would cry. Then a friend told me to say this: "Hey, why don't you come over tonight and help me count those volts?" Jesus, did that shut up those motherfuckers immediately. OK, so that's pretty tame compared to how people get bullied today, but the premise is still the same. I suggest you figure out something to say to stand up for yourself. How about: "Yeah, and this pig nose of mine can smell you all the way over here." Not many people on this forum would agree with this tactic, but I'm all for standing up to bullies. You might try it once or twice and see if it doesn't make you feel a little better. Bullies are cowards. The best way to stop a bully is to just get up in their face. Then see how fast they run.