S.A.D. but maybe not so bad.

[justsomeoneinacorner]

So it begins. That chill in the air, the woolly grey skies, the conspicuous lack of sunlight - winter is coming.

This is the season I usually get sad, but on this particular year it's been not so bad. In fact, I haven't really been depressed at all. This is the first winter in YEARS where the depression didn't settle right in with the falling of the leaves. If you've read my other posts, you know this year has brought many great new changes. I have health insurance. I've been seeing a therapist. And with the help of a wonderful psychiatrist I seem to have found the right combination of medications.

And yet, since the weather has gotten a nippy, something has been a bit off. I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of bed. I rarely have the motivation to clean or cook myself a proper meal. There's a load of laundry spilled out over my floor that's been sitting there all week; I just pick through it whenever I need to go out. I don't think I've showered in three days. Sometimes it seems like I can't taste my food. So many things that I usually love to cook and eat now seem rather bland.

A couple of weeks ago I saw my doctor about a possible vitamin deficiency - a series of blood tests showed that sure enough my vitamin D level is VERY LOW. I've been prescribed a supplement and been advised to try and get as much sunshine as possible. Though as I understand it, it may be a while before I see any clear effects. Although emotionally I feel fine, I still really just want to curl up in my electric blanket with a mountain of taco bell burritos and go into hibernation. Unfortunately that's not possible. I know I've gotta push forward somehow but I feel like I'm slipping downhill.

How do you all deal with the changing seasons? Has anyone else had a vitamin deficiency? Any bits of advice on how to cope with the intense desire to hibernate?

[IdentityPoltergeist]

For me it is largely about lighting. The darkness makes me not want to be awake anymore, not want to do anything or go anywhere. So extra lighting in the house and things that inspire me to be and stay active get me going more. I wake up earlier so I can work out and shovel the driveway or prepare to drive to work earlier if the snow is bad.

Is that always enough? No. If I'm alone I can't will myself to do any of it. Having a dog gives me the sense of responsibility and obligation I need. Having another person means I have to shovel, I have to cook not just for myself.

I also try to think of happy memories I can associate with winter. I think of how wonderful it is not having swarms of spiders and insects around all the time. I grasp at straws. I have been getting flu shots as I'm prone to sickness and that often doubles the depression. So reducing that risk has helped.

Ultimately I'd like to live in a winterless wonderland. That would help.

[kitterztoo]

Yes, I'm vitamin D deficient as well. I also get SAD. I also don't get enough sunlight. To deal with the problem of sleepiness, I use a full spectrum light (as close to 10000 lux as I can get) in the AM. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle even with meds in the winter (I live in MI).

A way to deal with feeling unmotivated, sluggish, overwhelmed is to set a timer for 15 mins. In that time, either clean, do self-care, or both. Do that a couple times a day. I also have problems with self-care. The thought of taking a shower is exhausting at times. I take a bath one day, wash my hair in the sink or leaned over the tub on the next day. Do one small thing for yourself each day--a cup of hot chocolate, watch a movie, sit outside in the sun for 15 mins before the snow flies, buy easy microwaveable meals for the days you're struggling physically.

I'm taking 5,000mg of Vitamin D. When I miss the dose, I can feel it the next day. I'm also the most functional I've ever been with depression and my myriad of health problems. I have two teens, and sometimes the only self-care I can do is to get dressed and brush my teeth. I also talk to my therapist about ways to adapt to SAD every Fall/Winter. The main one is, "I know I'm going to have it every year, so what can I do to bolster my mental health and increase activity?" I make myself a priority. I try to take an arthritis cardio class every winter, and at my weight, that can be not only shaming, but also energy draining. I remind myself that afterward, I feel better.

If you ever need anything, snag me. I'm gearing up for SAD by doing a complete cleaning of my kitchen now, so it won't take much to maintain later, and I'm doing one load of laundry. BTW, I do the laundry basket thing too. Downy wrinkle-release is great for getting out wrinkles before putting clothes on.

[Brooke]

I'm glad to hear that you are doing better this year than before. I definitely get SAD every year... Since I'm hibernating with depression every winter, I try and make up for it during the summer by being very social. I have social anxiety, so it takes me a whole lot of energy to see people. But since I'm so antisocial, I pressure myself into socializing during summer to compensate for it. And then I get so exhausted that the pendulum swings back during winter and I return to being antisocial. I wish I could be more balanced...
This year, my trigger of SAD started at the end of August. I couldn't make it to an event that I really wanted to go due to my sleep disorder and it just spiraled down from there. I tried so hard to fight my sleep disorder by adjusting it and it just screwed my entire physiology. I got super dizzy (like the actual room spinning out of control) and I knew it was because I tried too hard, instead of being nice to myself and being ok with missing the event. And of course me being hyper-critical of myself, I was so shocked at how I could've screwed up myself physically just so I could 'fit in'... Another reason why I get so desperate during summer to socialize is because of Facebook and it's competitiveness. Lots of people are trying to one up each other with their 'fabulous lives' and I just get so sucked in... It's pathetic... Anyway, so this year I've started my SAD way early and still don't know how to get out of it...
I take vitamin D on a regular basis, too. It really helps with my overall health. As for the light box, I've used it off and on in the past, but I just feel like it's a band aid for me and that I need to really deal with my deeper issues. It's awesome tool for people to use, though.

[judasiscariotjr]

S.A.D is really kicking my ass this year also. I'm taking Vit D but I'm not sure if it is helping. Basically, all I want to do is eat (thanks SSRI side effects) and sleep under the covers but even better- under the bed. I'm trying to keep going to the gym, eating well and meditating.

[ScottMentalPod]

After years of feeling down every Winter, I finally bought a SAD 50k lux light this year. I feel SOOOOOO much better. I let someone borrow it for a couple days. On day 3 I felt amazingly blah. "Amazingly blah" is a technical term. After getting the light back, I felt fine ever since. My doctor told me that him and his wife turns their on 30 minutes before waking up. They chill, read, and talk. I do the same now. It's great. I tried bright led 2,500 lux lights. They sort of work but spending the $70 for a real was was TOTALLY worth it. If you determine it doesn't work for you, you can always give to a friend.

[unapalomablanca]

Thank you for the advice about the Vitamin D! I take it, but may adjust the dose (and actually try to take it regularly). The lamp works really well for me; this year I've used it for about 45 minutes every morning.

In terms of symptoms, this has been the best year in a long time. October and a lot of November were almost normal. Since then, I've been okay for a few days, and then it's like I've been hit by a train. A train full of self-loathing.

I hate this, because I used to love the holidays. Now it's something where I have to grit my teeth and just try and make it through.

[DanDan]

What helps me everytime I start to feel down in general, specially when days are grey is the formula Lighten Up from the Alaskan Flower Essences. It just boosts my energy on all levels.