A helpful, reverse perspective?

[cpa85]

This mostly applies to anxious/obsessive thinking but I think it can be generally applied to any negative thoughts in general (depression).

I first posted here about 3 weeks ago and I was in a hell of a rut. Since then I've had buspar added to my medication and I've started therapy again for the first time in over four years. It's been very helpful. Even though I still feel off at times, I know I've made huge progress in the past few weeks and am moving back in the right direction.

But in addition to the medication and tools provided by my new therapist, I think I hit on another exercise on my own that is helpful. I try to imagine that I am either completely mentally healthy, or at least coping very well with my issues. And from that perspective I imagine how I would treat and interact with someone else (friend, family member, co-worker, total stranger, whomever) who is struggling with the anxiety/depression. By doing this I've found it very relaxing and disarming because, like many people in my position, one of the big fears and worries is how I am perceived by others, especially when I'm going through a rough patch. It makes me realize that most people (especially the people who love and care for you) aren't being overly critical or judgmental. While they're concerned for you, they probably aren't judging you, being overly critical, or writing you off as doomed. They just want you to do well, be well. Just like I want people to survive and thrive when I find that they are dealing with something stressful/depressing.

And I also extend this practice by trying to be more mindful of other people on a more consistent basis. I've never been in the habit of being inconsiderate/mean/rude, but even by making a conscious effort to make every interaction positive and uplifting in some way, I find it makes me feel good (sometimes for no apparent reason). I find it particularly helpful in public or at work, because I find it makes me more likely to be myself (and be myself comfortably) and feel more attached and included in general.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello cpa85. I like your perspective, because it is loving and respectful to yourself, and you deserve it! Cheers!

[bigeekgirl]

I'm totally down with your strategy. I use a version of "fake it til you make it" with my own struggles. Except on my worst days, I strive to seem like the best version of myself; relaxed, kind, thoughtful and helpful. Hopefully, smart, funny and interesting, too. It's all true - I think - even if when the anxiety takes hold I don't believe it. On my worst days, I still strive not to take my stress out on anyone and I've even learned to be honest with my co-workers about what is going on so I don't just feel stupid when my brain isn't working right.

It seems to me if more people went out of their way to be mindful of others, the world would be a much better place.

[kitkat]

I totally agree, I find that so helpful! I try to imagine myself as, like, someone else or as a friend and I think what I would tell that person. Obviously we are a lot harder on ourselves than we would be to someone else in the same situation, so it's a good perspective to remember. thanks for sharing!

[bigeekgirl]

You are so right, kitkat. It is only in the last few years, I have come to understand most people cut themselves more slack than they cut other people or at least exactly the same amount. I have to work really hard to hold myself to a reasonable standard in life.

[Brooke]

Visualization is so powerful. I think what you are doing helps a lot in recovery. I try to do it when I have the energy and drive to do it. But it takes a lot of energy because you are going against the grain... Depression is like a thermostat that just won't budge...even if you have good days, something will trigger it and you're right back... I've been trying to visualize and be positive for a couple of months, but am slipping back down right now... I might have pushed myself too much...sometimes you so want to be out of depression, you try really hard only to get tired and slip right back... And I feel like a failure and am defeated... I know pushing myself too much only leads to self-destruction, but I was so sick of being depressed...! So I think you are doing it the right way, slow and with professional help. I know in my head that what you resist, persists, but I just wanted to reject depression and kick it's ass. I know the right way is to go slow and easy on yourself... I'm so defeated and confused right now, so what I need to do is to just let myself be and definitely not push anymore... It's so hard to let yourself be...especially listening to a bunch of high achieving motivational speakers... I want to succeed in life, but it has to be at my own pace... I was slipping down in a spiral so fast that I just took an anti-anxiety pill because I felt like I was going to lose it and go crazy...that is such a scary thought... This is the only place I feel safe expressing myself, so thanks for your post. Being here and writing helps me to gather my thoughts. And to know that I'm not alone because when you are going through a bad time, that's all you feel...