freaking over anxiety and depression

[yes74]

Today I'm sad. I've been looking for jobs like crazy and getting offers but this DUI thing is screwing me up. Tommorow I have to do another background check and they're gonna rescind there offer. I also have ocd. Lately I've been obsessing and ruminating over stupid things every day. Like some stupid thing someone said the night before. Or some crappy boss I had 7 years ago. That's really bringing me down and driving me nuts.

[yes74]

I just got a job offer. But its doing the same thing as my last job witch stressed me out. I dont know if I should take it but I'm going nuts at home I just got over 3 days of bad anxiety and depression and I need to do something with myself.

[yes74]

I got another job offer. Its still commision but its getting away from what I was doing before. I'm happy about this. I also saw an awesome movie. If you get the chance watch gravity. It isnt just a sci fi movie its also very uplifting.

[bigeekgirl]

Sorry I've been away from the forums lately. I've sort of dropped out of communication overall for a bit.

Congratulations on the job. I understand work as a trigger all too well. My job is a constant struggle to overcome. I am working on steps to escape and it did drive me into therapy. In the long run it was a good thing but those days I spent crying at my desk with my brain all clouded over, not so great. I haven't had a bad anxiety day in about two months.

I've heard really great things about Gravity.

[yes74]

I'm glad youve been doing well with your panic attacks. I guess some people have to accept that they have an acute disease and that our job can exacerbate symptoms of the disease. It is hard to get away from a job that makes things worse but it also may be necessary for our health. Its something that people without this disease probably couldnt fully understand.

[bigeekgirl]

Like I told my husband the other day, they wouldn't last five minutes in my head.

I work in a call center so in some ways it's perfect for not being physically with customers. Tears streaming down my face and I can still keep it together enough to talk to customers even though it's much, much harder.

When I packed up to leave Friday halfway through my shift to go to my therapy appointment, a co-worker asked where I was going. I'm not about hiding my problems so I said, "I'm going to see my counselor." She asked, "For what?" I told her anxiety and she gave me this dismissive little brush off that could only indicate she doesn't think it's a "real" problem.

For me, I can blow her ignorant ass off, because she doesn't know me well enough to know how reasonable my struggles are in light of my history. It really got to me overall to think people like that still exist. I can't imagine if that person was my family member or friend who I needed support from.

[yes74]

There is such a stigma still to it. Its amazing that people dont understand yet. Ive worked in call centers and that can be really stressful. And then to have to deal with the stupid people you work with on top of it. Im finally going to a support group. Its helping talking things out with people like me. I wish I did it a long time ago.

[yes74]

I'm really grateful I found this forum. Partly because I'm a guy and partly because I have anxiety and depression; its hard for me to to talk about the pain its caused me. On one level it serves as a sort of journal, but the feedback I've gotten from great people who understand is just as important if not more important. I'm going to a support group for the first time ever over the past few weeks and its been a huge help.
When I read the first post in this thread its so frenetic and severe. And all the later posts are so much more clear and lucid. I see how healing it can be to just talk about it especially to people who understand. I went skiing the other day, difficult to do because its an expensive hobby, but it was worth it because its the most fun I've had in years. I'm gonna keep posting in this thread, I hope its not boring you. I understand there are some days where people cant post back or just arent sure what to say. I still feel bad some days but I feel so much better then before. I guess I'll keep having good days and bad days but there are more good days now. Thank you again for the feedback its really helped.
The podcast is awesome also.

[yes74]

Im still having good days and bad days. The weather here is really bringing me down today so I was kined of depressed today. Im feeling a little better now. I've been working out and keeping busy. basically every trick I know in the book. My new job is coming up soon. This should be a good thing but it's making me a little anxious. I'm also still applying for other jobs just to see if I can find something better. Tax season is here and I'm not getting crap. Pretty usual stuff I know but its the stuff of a somewhat anxious and depressed day. I guess I'll wake up tomorrow and just keep doing the same thing I've been doing writing about it, working out, and keeping busy.

[yes74]

I finally went back to work. The hours are grueling and I only have one day off. I'm so tired right now but I have to keep getting out. I guess I'll stay here until I find something else. I guess I'm taking steps in the right direction. I'm just really tired right now.