Unworthy

[Jay Dub]

I have royally screwed things up. I have cheated on my wife and she knows about it. I feel unworthy of being with her or my children even though this amazing person wants to work things out. I have asked her to tell her best friends and I plan on telling my best friend so they can hate me. I really feel like that's all I am worthy of.....hatred.

[manuel_moe_g]

Please take care, Jay Dub. From your postings on the forum, you are going through a lot. You think you don't deserve self-love, but that is wrong, you need self-love to become who you need to be for all the people in your life who mean so much to you. I wish I could wrap the gift of self-love and hand it to you. Please take care, please build your life from the inside out, and build it strong.

[bitteroldshrew]

Hi, Jay Dub. I can tell you feel a lot of shame for what you've done. I remember reading somewhere (I think it was a Brene Brown book) that the difference between shame and guilt is that guilt is feeling bad about what we've done... and shame is feeling bad about about who we ARE. The fact is that we all have done bad things, but those things don't define who we are unless we let them. You've done something you regret... and it's perfectly normal to feel guilt... but heaping shame on top of that doesn't solve anything. The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself and people you trust... admit any mistakes you've made... try to understand why you did what you did... and work on fulfilling those needs you weren't getting met WITHIN your marriage rather than outside it. You are worthy of forgiveness, but you have to be able to forgive yourself before you'll be able to accept it from anyone else. Good luck. *hugs*