Being called 'Perf'

[Baneael]

In high school my environment made me feel like I was never good enough. The only way I could be good enough, in my opinion, was to be perfect. I had an eating disorder, perfect grades, and constant, private breakdowns.
Then I got to college.
One of my resident assistants had this amazing personality, and would end the floor emails by saying "GOODNIGHT BEAUTIFULS" OR "[our floor] IS SO FABULOUS." The Resident assistants were supposed to carve pumpkins for their floor, but this RA didn't have enough time, so he wrote "YOU ARE PERF" on a pumpkin in bright pink paint and put in in the floor lounge. That pumpkin was the most beautiful goddamn thing I've ever seen. Being called perfect was an amazing experience, and though he didn't direct it specifically at me, the idea of being unconditionally called beautiful and perfect was new and amazing. I internalized that pumpkin, and have started to love myself more and more since freshman year.

Also shout out to the boy at the dining hall that gave me massive amounts of noodles and rice when he was serving at the asian food station. Giving a person who was recovering from undereating "permission"to eat large amounts of tasty food means more than you know. I couldn't shut up to my friends about how much food he gave me. And now I can't shut up to all of you. Because I still remember that plate of noodles.

[manuel_moe_g]

Rock on! Nourish your body and soul!

[Sherlock]

This just makes me happy to read. I love it when positive people and positivity in general comes across as genuine and heartfelt instead of forced or coercive; the emails and the pumpkins sound like they would probably make me smile, too, and I love that you felt included in those messages (because sometimes my instinct with certain forms of positivity is to not feel included; "they're talking about productive, healthy, happy people when they say that, right?"). Just awesome that there are such nice people out there. Sending you my good vibes.