So Alive(TW suicidality)

[brownblob]

Thanks Oak.
Writing it, I kept telling myself I was being self indulgent and nobody cares and nobody wants to read this shit and maybe I should leave some of this stuff out. Then I'd post it and reread it and see typos and beat myself up for that. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it.

[oak]

"Specificity is the soul of narrative" -John Hodgman.

I am glad you took the time to be so specific. May I riff for a moment?

In American English I wish we had two words for heroism. The "big" version we all understand immediately: MLK, Louis Pastuer, Harriet Tubman. They rightfully get statues.

They also get the lion's share of the glory, so that's all I'll say here about "big" heroes.

I wish we had a non-diminutive word for little hero: Dr. John Snow (look him up) is one example.

Trite and corny as that old email is, from your meat-cutting position circa: please name the company's then-current CEO, Chairman of the Board, and executive vice president. On the other hand, do you remember the name of the cashier (a real hero) who was so kind to you when you were so troubled? Can you picture her face?

Here it is almost thirty years later, and I know about the kindness, warmth, and generosity of the cashier, of your friend in the wheelchair.

What I do care is that a cashier was generous enough to continue to reach out to you. She could have told herself she was too tired, or could have been turned off by what you said. You were a good person in a bad situation. She saw that.

We are talking about her thirty years later because of what she did.

So! Thank you for your specificity. It is appreciated.