My fears

[bitteroldshrew]

I fear that I will live my entire life without doing something worthwhile.
I fear that I will live my entire life without anyone ever really knowing me or caring about the real me.
I fear that there is no “real me” worth knowing.
I fear that I'm fucking up my kids with all my anxieties.
I fear that my relationship with my husband will always maintain this distant quality and I will have wasted my chance to be truly intimate with someone.
I fear that I am being selfish in wanting more from my husband.
I fear that I have no right to ask for more from my husband when I feel like I am giving so little.
I fear that I'm a shittier person than I think I am.
I fear that I will die before my children are old enough to remember me in a meaningful way.
I fear that I will die before my children are grown and they will be raised by their father who can't offer them the emotional nurturing they need.
I fear that my daughter will be depressed and suicidal as a teenager. I see a timidness and nervousness about her that causes me to worry about her.
I fear that my worrying about my daughter will actually CAUSE her to develop depression and suicidal tendencies where she might not have before.
I fear that I may be favoring my youngest, my son, over my other children and they will see and become resentful and hate me and him for it.
I fear that it's too late to have any influence on my older children and I've already lost them to the world.
I fear that I'm much dumber than I think I am.
I was afraid to write “I fear that I'm less smart than I think I am” because people might get the idea that I'm trying to be smarter than I am.
I fear that other people can see right through me, and the view is unflattering.
I fear that I'm wasting time—all the time.
I'm afraid that I will never be any better.
I fear that when my life is over I won't have made any difference to anyone.

[Jitters]

This really resonated with me especially those fears about not expressing my true self or maybe not even having a true self. And not being able to show that true self to my significant other. And then the guilt that comes with wanting something from somebody. I don't have children yet, but I worry about passing on anxiety to them through not dealing with my issues first. Great post and thanks for sharing.