Dumb Fears

[useless weakling]

I fear when I'm taking a shit that a tiny bug will crawl or fly into my asshole causing some kind of infection and I'll get really really sick and have to go to the hospital and when they run the tests they'll say I have this serious infection and the doctors start asking me questions about how I might have gotten it like have I been drinking dirty water in 3rd world countries or whatever and I'll say "oh it must've been from that time that bug flew up my asshole while I was taking a shit!!! and the doctors will look at me like I'm fucking insane.

I fear I'll choke to death on some junk food that I tell people I never eat and they'll find my body in my chair in my room, mouth stuffed with Krispy Kreme.

I fear I'll die never knowing what it's like to punch someone in the face.

[Geoff 02]

So, is the fear that the bug will have crawled up your asshole, or, that the doctor treating you will think you're nuts?

And, your death-by-Krispy-Kreme fear reminds me of the Larry Groce song "Junk Food Junkie":
I'm afraid someday they'll find me / Just stretched out on my bed / With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips / And a Ding Dong by my head // In the daytime, I'm Mister Natural / Just as healthy as I can be / But, at night I'm a junk food junkie / Good Lord, have pity on me

As for your third "fear," uhm, might I recommend one of those inflatable punching bags for children ...

[useless weakling]

So, is the fear that the bug will have crawled up your asshole, or, that the doctor treating you will think you're nuts?

Both, it's a multi-level fear!

As for your third "fear," uhm, might I recommend one of those inflatable punching bags for children ...

Nah, I've punched plenty of non-face things including punching bags. That won't do. I'm sure there's plenty of people in the world who need a good punch in the face, I just want to take care of one of them! Think of it as a public service!

[rc409]

The bug thing would be no big deal to an er doctor. They remove matchbox cars and such from peoples asses.

A simple infection of the ass would not even be up for discussion.