I am so bad at this!

[YouCantBeSerious]

It's happened again. I keep getting in these situations. It happens so often. It's definitely a fear, am I making this happen because I fear it?? I fear not being able to keep it together, and I can never keep it together!!

I have ruined another opportunity, even if I was being taken advantage of. I just got fired from an on site management gig. I spoke up for myself, that I should be getting paid more, and now I'm out of a job. Now I have 35 or so hours left to vacate, no where to go, a broken down vehicle, and the worst part-- this was an 'independent contractor' position, so they paid me well below minimum wage, and I'm broke. In a strange, hot, desert city nonetheless. I don't know what I'm going to do. No idea where I'm going to go. I have no family support. And now, no job or home. It's really just kind of hitting me. I've been mildly freaking out all day, but I'm balling typing this.

I only have about $400, and no idea how much a mechanic is going to cost me. I worked over 200 hours last month, and got paid the equivalent of $1075, only $500 of it in cash, the rest was to cover rent.

I've been calling programs, and hot lines, Craigslist ads, charities, help lines, legal aid, the CA labor board, etc. There's no help to be had anywhere. The only suggestion is to go into a shelter. But I have my dog. The only living being that has been there for me. I don't want to give her up.

I'm also a full time student. I'm working on my bachelors in chemistry. Only my financial aid is messed up. It was a really bad semester last spring. My GPA is still good, but my completion ratio isn't. I've worked so hard. And I'm stuck again. Facing homelessness, again. Screwed over, again. My depression has just been unbearable. I need a nap for a couple months. I need things to go right. I need the medication I haven't been able to get for 2 years now. The hole is so deep and so dark right now.

[manuel_moe_g]

Please take care, YouCantBeSerious. Keep us informed. Please know you are not alone.

[Imissmysun]

Oh shoot dolly - this is much more that sucky - this is just hit the wall craptastic - I work full time make decent money and still cant keep my life financially together - it is a skill and I think maybe 2 percent of adults are taught it - everyone else has to self teach - and budgeting and I are not friends - I am a smart cookie but this basic life skill has aluded me my whole life -

you deserve a good cry for a long bit - cry with you dog and hit the pavement tomorrow with knowledge that you are smart you have work experience and you can rock the hell out of whatever job oppurtunity you can find - and if you get some crappy offer to work 8 million hours and get paid like crumbs say no because that is basically slave labor - and not ok - boundaries and health -

deep breath - anxiety anxiety anxiety - deep breath - journal - anxiety - keep us posted - and breath - and eat! self care and I am sending a whole crate of hugs *HUG!*