A Dialectic, or an Excuse?

[SorryNotSorry]

I fear that I will never be able ask for/demand the respect that I need/deserve from my parents BECAUSE I understand/have empathy for the unhealthy childhoods they had that caused them to have these maladaptive behaviors and communication issues. I feel so sad for the kids they used to be, as adults who couldn't get their needs met and I also feel sad that they are adults who are so handicapped by the past that they can't be healthy, confident adults. Whenever I try to make a stand, my stepmom throws a tantrum and my dad passively tells me to stand down an apologize.

I know it's unrealistic and a myth, but I feel like I have to stand up to them and demand respect in order to be a good parent in the future myself. Never going to happen.