Fears and tears

[DaisyDuck]

I fear that someone, somewhere, will listen to my list of fears and, somehow, find out who I am and judge me for it.

I fear that although I have spoken to my parents about not wanting children, and they have assured me, that they will die not having the joy of being a grandparent- something they would be AMAZING at and something they want to be so badly.

I fear my sister will never have her dream of being married and having children, and I know i can't do that for her.

I fear that all the judgement about being childless, the people who tell me "when you're old your dog won't change your diapers!" and "You don't know love until you don't have a kid" Will end up being right.

I fear death. The death of myself and the death of my loved ones. I have lost so many that it has become a daily fear. It consumes me.

I fear that my husband is only here because of our mutual adoration for our dog, and that when the pup passes, I will not only be lost without my dog, but without my husband.

I fear that I am a burden on everyone, and secretly they all think about it all of the time.

I fear that my nieces and nephews won't grow up to see Black Rhinos or other endangered animals and that I can't do anything to fix it.

I fear that my nephew needs my intervention and that I'm not doing enough to reach out, even though I am constantly reaching out.

I fear that my dwindling self-confidence will continue to make it more and more impossible for me to find another job. Either by self-sabotage or by just not seeming confident in interviews.

I fear that as a lifetime insomniac I will never, ever get a full night's sleep.

On that same note I feel that I will eventually be driven insane by lack of sleep and lack of answers for my condition.

I fear that my chronic migraines will eventually kill me.

I fear that my loved ones who have passed didn't know how much I loved them. Oh, how I loved them.

I fear that my fears are controlling my life and not allowing me to live in the present.

[DaisyDuck]

I fear that I left things off my love list, and that makes me unappreciative of the beauty around me.