Difficult talk w boss this week.

[oak]

Hi friends. May I share something important to me?

Though I’ve had a very tough time at my job the whole three years, and need to move on anyway for my wellness, I am facing a difficult specific conversation early this week

My boss gave me a new duty, of course without more pay. I knew the data and process are bad, said so, and was promised training. I instead received verbal abuse when it surprise! turned out to be the nightmare I predicted. Instead of collaborating to a solution, I got yelled at.

This ends this week.

Either I figure out the process, am relived of the duty, or I give my two weeks notice.

Tbh thinking about this has ruined my thanksgiving. Life is too short for this.

Any advice or encouragement is appreciated. Update soon. This is me using my words.

[rockfisher]

Good for you on making a decision on changing this situation. Verbal abuse in this day and age is totally unacceptable. I would file a complaint with HR or to someone who handles those sort of things. If you get hassled for reporting it you have a good harassment case, and the employer will be forced to handle the situation. If you end up getting fired, you still have a harassment case and you can collect unemployment at least until you find a new job. I was railroaded out of a job once for voicing my opinion on my unjust treatment and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, although i was terrified at the time, I was newly married with twins on the way. I ended up in a way better place doing the same job, and it was way less work, more pay, and a better work environment. I believe that, although it is a super hard and stressful thing to do, it is never a wrong move to stand up for yourself at work. I really hope things go smoothly for you in this situation.

[oak]

Thanks Rockfisher. You’re a really good guy. I appreciate you.

Yeah, the verbal abuse has happened for years, and I intend to face that very soon (changing careers or departments) here in the next very few weeks, if I don’t resign this week.

One thing I’ve learned: work verbal abuse is like every other form of verbal abuse: it never goes away. Oh, they’ll do the cycle of abuse, but it will never spontaneously cure itself. The only thing to do when abused is to get out.

Thanks to what I learned in Debtors Anonymous I’ve scripted what I intend to say. Hence I don’t have to think about this until the time comes. Posting here also helped.

[rockfisher]

Well thanks, I appreciate you as well.

[oak]

It went completely lovely.

Knowing that if I faced it today, I could rest easier tonight, and that if it had to happen I might as well do it now, I went for it.

My boss was completely kind and encouraging. We now have a plan for this month’s cycle, and agreed that if we can’t get me up and running by this time next month they will take this responsibility away from me.

I am very glad I resolved to have this conversation, used my words in this forum (thanks again Rockfisher! You were a big help as I tried to find the courage), and then just went for it.

Good things happen when I resolve to be honest, and then use my words.

Thanks for listening. I have accomplished what I set out to.

[rockfisher]

That is fantastic, I'm glad I was able to bring you some encouragement.