Mother/Family as a trigger

[letteggs]

I've just had a terrible weekend in relation to my family being my trigger...My family stayed home this weekend, instead of going to their lake house a few hours away, so I had planned on getting out of the house Friday night and Saturday going to the school library.

I was supposed to go out Friday night, but my everyone cancelled at the last minute, so I just stayed home. I ended up going up to bed early, because I was exhausted from work, and being on an antibiotic, I just wasn't feeling it. Saturday, I dragged myself out of bed and went to the library. Then, when I got home for dinner, completely lost it at my mother, because she said she cooked the pork chops in just her normal spices, salt, and pepper. What she didn't say was that it was her crazy spice mix that I don't enjoy (Sensory issues with that one), and when I looked at the pork chops, they were red, and I tasted a little bit and it tasted funny too. After I asked what exactly it was she put on the pork, she said "I told you I used my spice mix with some salt and pepper," and I completely flipped out, screaming that she knows I don't like that stuff on my food, and that she had told me before she made it that it would just be salt and pepper. I proceeded to run upstairs and cry.

Sunday morning, I got up, and heard the dryer running in the basement. I walked downstairs, and saw my towels folded on the counter. I have had SO MANY FIGHTS and conversations with my family about not touching my laundry, just leaving it or putting it on the table in the basement. I just had the conversation with my dad 2 weeks ago over clothes I had left from a mud run in the basement because they needed to be run through the wash again. What does Dad do Sunday morning? Takes MY towels out of the dryer and folds them. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought they were for the bathroom, because he hadn't seen them before. The bathroom towels are also my towels, and I wash them every weekend. They had already been done and were folded and hanging up in the bathroom. So, I see the towels folded on the counter and once again flip out and start screaming and crying. I grabbed the towels, threw them down the stairs, and ran down to re-wash them. Got screamed at by my dad for yelling at him.

This morning, I decided to sleep in until 7 because I didn't have to be at work, I started doing my internship 4 hours a day. I still woke up at 4:30 though, and just laid in my bed because I didn't feel like I needed to get out of it just yet. At 6:15, my dad starts rumbling downstairs about how I'm irresponsible and lazy because I'm not up and out the door for work like normal, so my mother comes up, shoves me several times and tells me I need to get to work because it is after 6. I looked at her and said, "If you had paid any attention to me at all these past few weeks, you would have known that I'm not working 7-3:30 anymore, I'm interning from 9-1 and then working 2-5:30. If I do happen to sleep in and get to work late, it's my own damn fault," then rolled over and went back to sleep. ***I'm not a morning person, never have been, never will be...My family knows not to mess with me in the morning. Plus, I'm 29 years old! If I have to be up at a certain time, I'm going to be up, and if not, it's my own damn fault, and I can clean up my own mess.*** I leave for work, and see my dad outside, and just told him that I can get myself up in the morning, I don't need to be reminded that I have to be up. No crying this morning, because I had to go to work, but I was crying inside.

The past 10 days since I started this antibiotic have been so crazy. My mood has been swinging like crazy, even more so than my normal PMS-iness which I'm also experiencing. And I've got another 10 days to go on the antibiotic, because it hasn't been working. I've got a follow-up with my dentist, who prescribed it for a tooth problem, on Thursday, and I know it will end with me setting up an appointment with an oral surgeon to take out the tooth (after I've had a root canal and crown) and do an implant. So not fun for someone who doesn't have any dental insurance. And don't get me started on the Obamacare Bullshit.

I've got an appointment with a therapist at the school I'm going to. But until then, I'm just trying to lay low and avoid my family as much as is humanly possible, which is extremely difficult when I'm still living at home. I just wish they would treat me like an adult, and not like a little kid!!!

Thanks for the rant...