Say What?: The Journal of HoboJungle by HoboJungle

[hobojungle]

Thank you BBoo.

[hobojungle]

I've been living with my parents for 1 month. A rent increase for my previous apartment the beginning of April was the catalyst. I moved what fit in my car. In true codependent/mentally ill fashion, I didn't ask for help. Subsequently, I left a bunch of stuff in my old apartment that was too heavy for me to move to the sidewalk/dumpster by myself. I feel grateful for having a place to go & being able to have my cats with me.

[manuel_moe_g]

Take care, hobojungle, and cherish your cats! All the best.

[hobojungle]

Thank you m_m_g. Cats are the best. We have a total of 8 including my 2. It is a 3 bedroom house & yard, so plenty of room to spread out. I can feel my blood pressure lowering where ever they are.

Self-care I have done: got Medicaid, went to a support group (turns out the office was closed this week, but that's ok), spent hours in nature, read chapters of cbt for dummies, & performed random acts of grooming.

Self-care I want to do: Make appointment with potential care provider, buy ipad & ipencil (I have the $ for it, & I feel I will earn back the expense from what I make from it, but I worry what others will think.), read more cbt for dummies, & spend more time in nature.

[rivergirl]

Welcome back, HoboJungle. I missed reading your posts while you were away, and I'm glad to hear that you're still practicing self-care.

[hobojungle]

Thanks rivergirl.

Another attempt to attend support group thwarted. Just one of those things in life. Feeling depleted, but I do give myself kudos. Getting out of my comfort zone is not comfortable. I will record how long it takes for this too shall pass. It is 2:18pm.

[hobojungle]

Broke a glass a few hours after my last post that gave 2nd wind to my disappointment. It's the meaning I give it that invokes the negative feeling. Part of it is brain chemistry no doubt. At least I am not stuffing the feeling. Let me express it constructively. I miss my support group.

[hobojungle]

PMS doesn't help.

Self-care I have done:
1) finished reading CBT for Dummies
2) kitten picnic
3) some grooming

Self-care I want to do:
1) buy ipad/pencil
2) make appointment
3) clean basement

Get mired in the minutiae.
Your ultimate ambition is made up of several smaller goals.
I do want to keep my self-worth & achievement separate though.
It feels good to succeed, but it doesn't teach you much.

[rivergirl]

"I do want to keep my self-worth & achievement separate though" -- this is something I've been exploring through learning about self-compassion vs. self-esteem. The former makes more sense to me, and I'm learning that it doesn't have to mean self-indulgence or a lack of goals.

"kitten picnic" -- not sure what this is but I love the phrase

I hope you're having a good Sunday, HoboJungle.

[hobojungle]

Self-compassion feels more authentic to me too rivergirl.

Mom is fostering a kitten from a local animal shelter. We like to put the kitten in a carrier & take her outside in the yard with us for some fresh air. Sometimes she supervises mom's gardening or my picnicking. She is a wonderful little 2 lb companion.

Making progress on my self-care goals:
1) researching potential care providers
2) compiling health care info to bring to future appointment
3) reading some fiction
4) listing pros/cons of purchasing ipad/pencil
5) breaking areas of basement into bite-size pieces to organize