You're good vibes must have traveled across much of America, because I tentatively have a probably date!
I'll put this thread on temporary hiatus for about ten days, for reasons I'll explain below.
More important than a date, as important as a date is, I have my pride back: yesterday, at a social event, I started to get signals from someone who I don't mind saying is fine.
When I strategically turned away from her (but didn't walk away), ostensibly to talk to someone else, first she started touching her hair, then stroking her hair, then vigorously tossing it. I chickened out when her friends, a moment later, said that they were going someplace nearby and she should join them in a few minutes. I mean, just giving me all sorts of green lights to ask her out. I didn't.
Remembering that I promised in this forum thread to invite out any woman who gave me a signal of interest, I later planted myself where I knew she'd walk by eventually. I resolved not to move until I invited her out. I was taking a stand for myself.
She walked by, I beckoned her over (and did she look fine, ooh) and in a wishy-washy, but fairly clear, way invited her out. I didn't get her number
but we did make tentative plans.I am putting this thread in hibernation for about ten days: I've accomplished, however imperfectly and slowly, my initial goals: a new baseline for honesty with my employer, people I am attracted to, and family. I am going to be busy with work for the next ten days, but soon thereafter I have two big big assertiveness events:
1. My first meeting with a life coach.
2. (Eventually) My annual review. This should be a respectful but spirited barnburner.
Thanks for reading and encouraging. There have been many times I've only taken action IRL because I said I would here. Many times I chanted "Manuel Moe, Rivergirl, Brown Blob, How Did I Get Here" as a mantra to encourage myself (this happened naturally!).
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Here's the thing: now and then, little by little, I've found myself doing things "because this is what assertive people do".
In other words, I went from doing something because it was an assertiveness test, to being the kind of person who effects principled action because of who that person is.
