Heated discussion with my Psychiatrist

inmymind · Post by **inmymind** » September 16th, 2015, 11:40 pm

I was wondering what people (or other Psychiatrist or therapists) would think about an incident I had with my psychiatrist. Background. I've been seeing this Psychiatrist for three years. I go every two or three months for him to monitor my medication (Cymbalta). Today, I was explaining how I felt that I become easily frustrated. I have him an example of a business meeting where I got snippy with a team of people I work with on a special software project. One is the owner, the other two are participants. I've been acting as the project manager, part-time programmer, and system and database administrator. I got frustrated because the gang was not being present and I was having to repeat myself too much. I ask them to focus and start respecting each others time by not fucking with cell phones and such, and listen to what is being said. Not too difficult a task with only a four-person team. I told my psychiatrist that I always feel like I could have handled these situations better, but my frustration and anger levels get so high that I lash out. In this case, I immediately said, I'm sorry for jumping on them, but I am very frustrated. I do respect my team members and I praise them for their great work too.

My psychiatrist told me that its on me. To not feel so bad and carry that with me.

Later, we started discussing politics (uh oh...almost never a good idea I think even if we aren't in a bar). I told him I was letting him see this part of me, my frustration, because I wanted him to see it. I figured it might help him see inside me. Well, it got pretty heated, but we never insulted each other. We just expressed our own deep-seating opinions/philosophies. Was it unprofessional for him to participate with me in something that got me so riled up? Aren't we supposed to go to a psychiatrist to feel better and reduce our stress and anxiety? I left very upset. I take responsibility for my beliefs and opinions. Should I be looking for a new psychiatrist?

Just wondering.

Thanks

Geoff 02 · Post by **Geoff 02** » September 17th, 2015, 2:16 pm

inmymind, I don't know whether or not, ethically or professionally speaking, psychiatrists or therapists can let you leave their office if you're upset ( * Ding! * "Time's up!"). I would assume there's a procedure! Maybe he was measuring your responses during your heated discussion? Maybe he thought you had handled the argument appropriately?

For the most part I've gotten along with my therapists, but I know I've wondered if they have any idea how I really am when I'm outside their office. How do they know how I react when I'm in a tough situation? (They don't!)

And, while you got frustrated at your team meeting, it takes some courage to take a step back after being sharp with someone and apologize. I can think of more than a few times when I've gotten angry (righteously, of course!) and blown my top, and I haven't had the nerve to stop and apologize. Bravo!

inmymind · Post by **inmymind** » September 18th, 2015, 8:46 am

Hi Geoff 02,

Thanks for the reply Geoff. It wasn't a group/team meeting. It was a one on one. I don't feel I have the need to apologize as I didn't call him any names or insult him in any way. I was expressing my opinions which are opposite of his. In all the times I have met with a counselor, I've never had an argument/debate like I did here. I think it was good that he got to see that side of me. Perhaps he can give me feedback at our next meeting? I was so upset I didn't feel like scheduling a next meeting on my way out, but I know I was intending to go back. I'm only second guessing myself now. I should have just said "OK, well thanks for the conversation/debate." and left it at that. But my ego wanted to make an unapologetic exit and get in a jab by saying "Just send the script." My exit was not as graceful as it should have been, but it wasn't a bridge burner either. However, he had just told me earlier in the session not to feel guilty about expressing justified frustration (the subject of the session).

I'm grateful for your feedback.

Cheers!
D.

Geoff 02 · Post by **Geoff 02** » September 20th, 2015, 5:35 pm

Hello inmymind/D.:

I might have read your original post incorrectly. I thought you had had a team meeting at work and had gotten frustrated because people didn't seem to be paying attention? And then you had apologized to your work team? Was that right? That was what my last paragraph was about.

So far as your counselor goes, if, when you meet with him again (assuming you will make another appointment), if he says nothing about your exit, you'll certainly be justified in expressing some frustration then!

rc409 · Post by **rc409** » September 21st, 2015, 4:14 am

Professional, unprofessional, or whatever...the guy took a risk and entered our world when he went into that conversation with you. I respect that and he got to see firsthand what you were talking about.

About your reaction in the meeting...congratulations on being human and showing real human emotion.

I'll put it like this. Do you ever want to get medicated, or put into a mental state where people fucking with their phones, on your time, does not irritate you?

Murphy · Post by **Murphy** » September 22nd, 2015, 5:38 am

inmymind, I don't know how the subject of politics came up, but maybe he sensed that it was something you wanted to talk about? You did say you wanted him to see you riled up, so he might have been just respecting you wishes. Perhaps he should have ended the conversation when it got heated, but psychiatrists are human too, so maybe he got a bit too emotional about it. You can always talk to him about it, if you feel comfortable doing that.

Also, I think you're right to ask your team to be focused during meetings to make the most of everyone's time, even if you didn't handle it properly. My old job could be pretty stressful, and I would get frustrated and jump on people regularly. It can be tough. I always felt like an ass later for not keeping my cool, even if I thought I was right about what I was complaining about. It's a tough thing to work on. Good luck.

inmymind · Post by **inmymind** » September 22nd, 2015, 1:18 pm

Geof 02: Yea, you are correct. I did get frustrated at the team meeting. I somehow misunderstood your reply a bit. My work meeting was a team meeting. I thought you were thinking I had a group therapy session. After a second reading, I see I just misunderstood. Sorry for my confusing reply. If I see him again, and I'm leaning on "yes", I will just say I appreciated the discussion, and sorry I didn't exit a bit more gracefully.

RC09: Thanks! Good feedback and on-spot.

Murphy: Thank you for reading my post and responding. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels bad after justifiably scolding people for wasting time. My goal in the future is to control the volume of my voice, and not use profanity. I will tell my psychiatrist that this is my goal. I don't want to unnecessarily alienate the people in my life, even if I disagree with them.

marc7222 · Post by **marc7222** » September 28th, 2015, 4:17 pm

Have you considered a psychotherapist. or talk therapist in general and a psychiatrist for your meds?mayne a therapist can have more in depth analysis to these frustrations and anger.

inmymind · Post by **inmymind** » September 29th, 2015, 6:41 am

Marc,

Thank you. Yes, that is what I do. I see a therapist for counseling and my psychiatrist for my talk therapy. I haven't been to therapy in about 6 months because I got to a point where I didn't think I needed it anymore. MY therapist is great. She helped me validate a lot of feelings and was a great sounding board for my life situations.

Tragic Kingdom · Post by **Tragic Kingdom** » September 29th, 2015, 7:21 am

Re: Heated discussion with my Psychiatrist

Post by Geoff 02 » September 17th, 2015, 10:16 pm
inmymind, I don't know whether or not, ethically or professionally speaking, psychiatrists or therapists can let you leave their office if you're upset ( * Ding! * "Time's up!"). I would assume there's a procedure!

I would be very interested to learn what the procedure might be. In my experience, nobody has ever shown any interest in protecting my feelings, everyone seems to be only interested in protecting their back/interests. Of course, it's difficult to make a right call on this if you feel your judgement is compromised due to mental health concerns, so it would be interesting to know if there is an actual procedure for dealing with an upset client and whether this can differ from place to place.

As for OP, I am really confused as to why he is getting upset about getting upset. Perhaps that's something to work on?