So you already know that "MAC" stands for 'Me And Cancer' but the '2' designation here stands for 'Secondly' and is about the other patients I have had to live with as they went through their own battles with their troubles.
Their pain is impossible to not know about when you can hear them. I was only in a private room once during my many months for the treatments necessary to get the relapse into remission, so that meant most of the time I was in a ward with three other patients and that also could change quite a lot, as some were discharged, or possibly some other reason I might not know about.
MAC2
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snoringdog
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Re: MAC2
Hello MNyby,
That sounds tough, being laid up for so long and having others in (audible) pain around you.
Did the hospital have any sort of support groups or meetings that the patients could attend?
That sounds tough, being laid up for so long and having others in (audible) pain around you.
Did the hospital have any sort of support groups or meetings that the patients could attend?
Re: MAC2
For some reason the idea of a support group never came to mind. That's an excellent question, but I suspect that in this nation that sort of idea isn't so common. And that now leads us into territory I was hoping not to have to enter, but I can see that if I don't explain a crucial point it will be a problem.
That "crucial point" is where I live. I live in Japan.
And I now realize that there isn't going to be any possible way to avoid stereotyping, because some things about this culture just cannot be ignored, or set aside as nonsense.
In some aspects of life here most Japanese really do try to sort of fit in without raising issues that might cause them to stand out. Please be sure to notice I used "most" because there are obviously those that might not follow that idea. BUT --- and that is a big "but" the hospital that I use is basically a hospital for Japanese government workers and they are very much more prone to fall into that category of not wanting to stand out and so for 'most' of them the idea of asking to form a support group is very unlikely.
I am a citizen of the United States and am referred to as a "gaijin" or foreigner and this is an important point in this culture. I am an outsider and no matter what I do or how I act or how much I try to "be Japanese" I am always going to be a gaijin. I've been living here for about thirty something years and I figured it out very quickly that there was no point in trying to "be Japanese". Best thing is just be myself and be a "gaijin" and just don't let it bother me. I actually came here after living in the ROK for many years and so I was already familiar with some of the customs of the folks in this area of our Earth. No problem for me to be an "outsider" in a nation and so that is what I was in that hospital --- an outsider. Even more interesting is that very, very few gaijin folks are ever allowed to use that medical facility. Many of my fellow patients are so surprised the first time they see a gaijin is a patient in that hospital Even most of the staff are surprised the first time they see me and understand that I am authorized to use that medical facility. But I don't have much trouble putting people at ease and sort of fitting in, except I also do not hide my unusual styles, and there are a number of unusual aspects to my style. And it certainly does cause trouble sometimes, but I normally am causing trouble when I see something is wrong and push to get it fixed.
Enough background for now.
So, yes, it is sometimes very, very difficult when there are other patients in bad pain and and not sleeping well and maybe making much noise and also the problem of some very "professional" snoring type folks.
I basically make light of that snoring problem and sometimes the nurses and I might sort of make jokes about how great a particular patient is at snoring; but that is a sort of cover-up at my end, because sometimes that has also been a really bad problem. But those folks that snore like that can't help it, I don't think, so I don't let it bother me. I put it in a "try to understand" category and set it aside. Plus I know that I am also guilty of snoring, but probably not quite as professional as some I have heard.
Anyway, my point is the snoring thing is a whole bunch different than those that are in pain. Those folks I feel a kind of worry for them. I'm not so sure "sorry" is an emotion I feel for them, because that seems impolite. I think it is too easy to simply let yourself feel sorry for a person in trouble because I feel when you do that you are not honestly feeling their pain. You are not truly trying to understand how bad it is for them. You put them in that category of feeling sorry for them and that seems so convenient to then just sort of push them out of your deep thoughts. Your deep feelings for another human who might be in bad trouble are covered up because you have put them in that convenient category of just feeling sorry for them and so ignoring the deeper feelings you should try to have. Definitely not easy to go beyond the simply feeling sorry for them, but I think I should try. I don't know about others and sure don't want to judge others by trying to equate what they might feel as compared to me.
And as I type this I realize I am probably not getting the right words in this post to help anyone reading this to properly understand me. That might be because I may not be properly understanding myself. I have a tendency to take things way too seriously and in this case it is the pain I can clearly hear that another human is going through and I take that too seriously. Maybe I shouldn't do that. It is probably not good for my own well-being. Not good for my brain.
This is a very, very difficult subject to try to explain. I'll keep trying, but this post has gotten very long and so I better pause here. Yep, a very, very difficult subject.
That "crucial point" is where I live. I live in Japan.
And I now realize that there isn't going to be any possible way to avoid stereotyping, because some things about this culture just cannot be ignored, or set aside as nonsense.
In some aspects of life here most Japanese really do try to sort of fit in without raising issues that might cause them to stand out. Please be sure to notice I used "most" because there are obviously those that might not follow that idea. BUT --- and that is a big "but" the hospital that I use is basically a hospital for Japanese government workers and they are very much more prone to fall into that category of not wanting to stand out and so for 'most' of them the idea of asking to form a support group is very unlikely.
I am a citizen of the United States and am referred to as a "gaijin" or foreigner and this is an important point in this culture. I am an outsider and no matter what I do or how I act or how much I try to "be Japanese" I am always going to be a gaijin. I've been living here for about thirty something years and I figured it out very quickly that there was no point in trying to "be Japanese". Best thing is just be myself and be a "gaijin" and just don't let it bother me. I actually came here after living in the ROK for many years and so I was already familiar with some of the customs of the folks in this area of our Earth. No problem for me to be an "outsider" in a nation and so that is what I was in that hospital --- an outsider. Even more interesting is that very, very few gaijin folks are ever allowed to use that medical facility. Many of my fellow patients are so surprised the first time they see a gaijin is a patient in that hospital Even most of the staff are surprised the first time they see me and understand that I am authorized to use that medical facility. But I don't have much trouble putting people at ease and sort of fitting in, except I also do not hide my unusual styles, and there are a number of unusual aspects to my style. And it certainly does cause trouble sometimes, but I normally am causing trouble when I see something is wrong and push to get it fixed.
Enough background for now.
So, yes, it is sometimes very, very difficult when there are other patients in bad pain and and not sleeping well and maybe making much noise and also the problem of some very "professional" snoring type folks.
I basically make light of that snoring problem and sometimes the nurses and I might sort of make jokes about how great a particular patient is at snoring; but that is a sort of cover-up at my end, because sometimes that has also been a really bad problem. But those folks that snore like that can't help it, I don't think, so I don't let it bother me. I put it in a "try to understand" category and set it aside. Plus I know that I am also guilty of snoring, but probably not quite as professional as some I have heard.
Anyway, my point is the snoring thing is a whole bunch different than those that are in pain. Those folks I feel a kind of worry for them. I'm not so sure "sorry" is an emotion I feel for them, because that seems impolite. I think it is too easy to simply let yourself feel sorry for a person in trouble because I feel when you do that you are not honestly feeling their pain. You are not truly trying to understand how bad it is for them. You put them in that category of feeling sorry for them and that seems so convenient to then just sort of push them out of your deep thoughts. Your deep feelings for another human who might be in bad trouble are covered up because you have put them in that convenient category of just feeling sorry for them and so ignoring the deeper feelings you should try to have. Definitely not easy to go beyond the simply feeling sorry for them, but I think I should try. I don't know about others and sure don't want to judge others by trying to equate what they might feel as compared to me.
And as I type this I realize I am probably not getting the right words in this post to help anyone reading this to properly understand me. That might be because I may not be properly understanding myself. I have a tendency to take things way too seriously and in this case it is the pain I can clearly hear that another human is going through and I take that too seriously. Maybe I shouldn't do that. It is probably not good for my own well-being. Not good for my brain.
This is a very, very difficult subject to try to explain. I'll keep trying, but this post has gotten very long and so I better pause here. Yep, a very, very difficult subject.
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manuel_moe_g
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Re: MAC2
Fascinating stuff as usual, MNyby. Please don’t limit your posts on our behalf, what an interesting life you lead.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
Re: MAC2
I read your post last week, MNyby. I was too overwhelmed by my own issues to reply at the time, but I was quite moved by your story.
I think some people are just more attuned to the pain of others, by nature and/or due to life experiences. Being too empathic can be very painful, and there may be times when your spirit just needs a break.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you'll continue to post about your experiences if it isn't too difficult for you.
rivergirl
I think some people are just more attuned to the pain of others, by nature and/or due to life experiences. Being too empathic can be very painful, and there may be times when your spirit just needs a break.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you'll continue to post about your experiences if it isn't too difficult for you.
rivergirl