Hello. Just signed up finally.

This is a great way to begin using the site and to give us a chance to get to know you. We can't connect with you if we don't know what's going on with you!
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conversion&converse
Posts: 6
Joined: March 19th, 2017, 7:18 pm
Gender: M
Issues: Conversion Disorder, Depression, Self-Injury, FTM, PTSD, Child Loss
preferred pronoun: He/Him

Hello. Just signed up finally.

Post by conversion&converse »

So when you're mental health symptoms keep you up at night, that seems like the perfect time to finally visit that forum you've been meaning to visit!

I probably should've been read other intros to get a feel for what people share huh?

I will say my "issues" we're more than 80 characters so they were considered too long for the registration process.

I'm 39, FTM, married to my wife for two years, and living in SW Virginia, USA. I work in the mental health field. I was hospitalized a month ago for suicidal ideation, escalating self-injury, and Conversion Disorder (CD). Depression is much better. The CD is still really difficult to deal with. It'd been better all this week and now it's keeping me up tonight. :roll:

I guess that's it. Thanks for reading and I look forward to meeting all of y'all in the other forums!
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EmptyPinata
Posts: 7
Joined: March 12th, 2017, 4:22 pm
Gender: cis male
Issues: depression, social anxiety, loneliness. weight-issues, low self-esteem.
preferred pronoun: He

Re: Hello. Just signed up finally.

Post by EmptyPinata »

Welcome to the forum! What has kept you up? The CD? Do you mediate at all? I started doing it recently and have noticed that it has helped me with stress and controlling my inner negative critic. I use Headspace. They have a free 10 day trial. I do it when I wake up, but find that my negative inner critic is strongest while I am laying in bed, so I am going to try to do it before bed to calm my mind. Hope things get better for you!
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conversion&converse
Posts: 6
Joined: March 19th, 2017, 7:18 pm
Gender: M
Issues: Conversion Disorder, Depression, Self-Injury, FTM, PTSD, Child Loss
preferred pronoun: He/Him

Re: Hello. Just signed up finally.

Post by conversion&converse »

Yeah, the CD has kept me up on certain nights. I've been having a hard time being able to settle down at night because of the movements.

I don't have a regular meditation practice but I use the techniques a lot with my counselor or alone. It doesn't help for reducing the CD symptoms. It actually makes them worse. I "joke" that I look like Linda Blair in _The Exorcist_.

I am using mindfulness practices to do body awareness work and EMDR. The body awareness work is currently very disturbing. If I'm completely honest, the body work is either uncovering repressed childhood sexual trauma or a new level of gender dysphoria that is centered on my genitals.

I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier. I didn't see someone had to respond to me. I hope you're well and look forward to talking to you more!
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