YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Coercion comes in many forms. It can be physical, psychological, or emotional. What you've described is not consent. It's coercion. It's abuse. It's rape . If a friend said this happened to them, would you tell them it doesn't count? I doubt it. But abusers make us doubt our own reality. That's wher...

@brownblob No, please feel free to share. Knowing other people are struggling with their sexuality is a big relief. Not the struggling bit, but that I'm not so damn far behind. Chatting with others helps things click. That's my experience, anyway. So you're welcome to stay in thread if you like. @oa...

Has anyone struggled with their sexual orientation and identity after CSA? I'm a survivor (I think) and I'm bi (I think), but that entire part of my person is shut down. People always say they 'knew' their orientation by the time they were teenagers. I'm 30 and I'm still scratching my head over the ...

Ah, Jesus. That's a tough run, CC. One of the worst aspects of CSA is that it can be so hard to pin down, but that doesn't stop it from doing a number on our lives. I felt the exact same way. That I was just connecting dots to make a pattern that wasn't really there. That I was just pretending for a...

Thanks very much, you guys. I find it so surreal myself, especially with no solid memories. But then again...does anyone want that kind of memory? But then again again , how do you move forward without processing it somehow? @conversion&converse Yes, I think you can. I was listening to Trauma Re...

My sexuality is almost totally inert. I experienced something , but I don't know what. I'm stuck scrabbling for puzzle pieces of symptoms trying to piece together a coherent picture. One of the biggest hurdles is that my sexuality doesn't seem to exist anymore. Sometimes I'm so sure it's CSA, someti...

THank you. Yeah. The worst part I've found is that everyone's a suspect now, which nicely compliments my preexisting suspicion and paranoia. What memories I do have, I interrogate. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard to resist. Like picking at a scab, I guess. I took a page out of Paul's book and look...

Yeah. From what I've experienced over these last few weeks, I know now that something's seriously amiss. I feel like I'm the NTSB after a plane crash. Have to go back, try and find as many pieces as I can, and reconstruct what happened based off of wreckage. It sounds like your body's telling you so...

Thank you, Oak. I'm glad too, haha. I appreciate you saying so.

I had my first emotional flashback a few days ago. At least, that's what I think it was. I remember reading a story and it included a scene of sexual assault, but not violent assault. It was psychologically coercive. Systemic government sort of thing. You have to reproduce against your will for the ...