Just another ray of BPD sunshine.

[Dani]

Hi I'm Dani.

I don't think I've been active on a forum since my teen years, I found more self-destructive escapist activities to get up to. I'm 22 years old, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II and PTSD when I was 19 years old. I've been seeing therapists off and on since about 14. It's all been a big trip of fun.
I don't really know how to introduce myself. I've developed a really insane distaste for intake forms where I get to relay my entire life to a doctor that I won't be making a follow up appointment for.

Mainly my meds are anxiety based right now and I'm not on a mood stabilizer. To be honest, I'm not really on anything because I've left my old woman blister-packs in my suitcase for the last 2 weeks.

I'm currently studying at a university in Toronto after taking 2 years off of school. Before that I studied public affairs and policy management up in Ottawa, but had a really bad stretch of time there and managed to fuck up all my grades before dropping out. I'm trying to get my grades strong enough for a university theatre program, but I keep hitting a million bureaucratic walls. Since I just moved to Toronto, I'm currently doctor shopping which is the least fun experience.

I think I'm fairly depressive but stable right now, which is less scary and more meh all the time.

I won't get into it now but future posts may include: childhood sexual abuse, family mental illness, alcohol abuse, sexual dysfunction, birth control struggles, anxiety, trouble taking care of myself, trouble focusing, sleep related issues, etc.

I just got turned onto this podcast through Marc Maron's WTFpod, and have only finished the first episode. Really looking forward to neglecting everything else in my life to get obsessively caught up in the next few days.

Thanks,

[manuel_moe_g]

Hi Dani, welcome to the forum.

I read your post. I am too pathetic to give you any useful advice, and I will not subject you to "mansplaining" as I try and fake it.

Just want to say that you don't deserve to feel the suffering that you feel. We are cheering for you and for your very best today and tomorrow!

From this MentalPod board - some places to get help for people with limited resources:

• Help for little or no money
• Best Insurance Companies/Types for Mental Health Care
• Links for More Mental Health Info/Suicide Hotlines

[Paul Gilmartin]

Dani,

A belated welcome to the forum. We're glad you're here. Although I'm not bipolar or PTSD, I'm going through some really crippling shit right now with my mom and I feel like in many ways my fear of intimacy is a direct result of her onslaught of creepiness from childhood through the present.

I hope you find this to be a safe place to be yourself without judgement. And I really relate the sexual dysfunction issues as a result of sexual abuse or boundary violations.

Paul