high stress, please help

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dare i say it
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Re: high stress, please help

Post by dare i say it »

sandy wrote:His reply? "you are violated my civil rights by viciously denying me access to the internet. i am documenting this. I have a right to access the internet."
This whole situation is very, very strange. Is your brother perhaps an alcoholic/addict? Is there a lot of addiction in his family tree somewhere? If so, you may consider a support group called Al-Anon. (You may already know this, but it's the one that supports the loved ones of addicts. It's free and it's everywhere.) They would help you stay strong while you set limits with your brother and figure out how to change the toxic "dance" that the two of you are doing right now.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
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Paul Gilmartin
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Re: high stress, please help

Post by Paul Gilmartin »

Sandy,
Glad you're moving forward on this painful situation. He sounds pretty unhealthy. Sending some good vibes your way! Hang in there.

Paul
http://mentalpod.comNothing degrades the quality of my life like obsessing about the quality of my life.
sandy
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Re: high stress, please help

Post by sandy »

Well, we manged to get my brother out of my house. He took a job in another state. My husband dropped him off at the bus station this morning. I've been feeling guilty for kicking him out. He has a job to do all week but on weekends he will be homeless and carless. Then I took a look at my spare room. It looks like a hoarder just stepped out for a smoke. It's disgusting. I offered boxes and bags for him to store the things he can't take on the bus but he said he didn't need them. His junk is on every inch of every surface, including hanging from the curtain rod. There must be 50 cans on the table. Once again the world as he sees it looks nothing like the one the rest of us are living in. Or was leaving all that crap for me to clean up one last "fuck you" to me? I keep telling myself that the more help we gave him the worse he seemed to get. So the only solution was to stop helping him. I still can't help worrying about him.
This forum was like a strong shoulder for me to cry on when I felt horrible. Thank you Paul and everyone, it truly made me feel better and gave me courage.
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BCZF
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Re: high stress, please help

Post by BCZF »

HI Sandy.. Welcome.. My name Is John and Im an admin around here...

First off, there is no "civil right" to the internet. If he can get a library card, he can get the internet. No judge in the world would fall for that.

I know he is your brother, but, if he will not comply to your occupancy rules,you really are a de facto landord and can have him removed. Problem is you didnt have anything in writing, but the threat of forced removal may get the shithead to jump into action (apologize for language)

You as the lease holder/property owner have the upper hand here..

FYI - DO NOT LET YOUR HUBBY THREATEN/CARRY OUT ANYTHING AGAINST HIM - Do NOT give him ammunition for a counter suit..
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Paul Gilmartin
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Re: high stress, please help

Post by Paul Gilmartin »

Sandy,
Welcome to the forum! What your wrote for your brother is beautiful. It's actually the most loving thing you can do for him at this point because if people keep enabling him, he will never get better.

Paul
http://mentalpod.comNothing degrades the quality of my life like obsessing about the quality of my life.
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