dumb love choices

[KienanKelly]

Paul, your podcast had saved me on multiple occasions. Thank you.

I am currently in a relationship that will most likely wind up hurting me...but in the meantime I am the happiest I have ever been. Is it possible to stay with this amazing man, savour every drop of happiness, and know that it's headed for the edge of a cliff, but still stay in it, without that being a pathological symptom of some mental illess?

I'm crazy about this man, afraid of being hurt, and unable to resist all at the same time.

This all coming from a woman who does not believe that a man could ever really love her.

Help!

[fifthsonata]

First - welcome! Glad to see you've joined us.

Could you give us a little more detail here? It's a little odd the relationship could be hurting you but you be the happiest you've ever been.

[Acadian Driftwood]

I think it depends on how you think you might get hurt by this relationship. If the hurt would be the result of physical or emotional abuse, then that would definitely be unhealthy. But if you think you might be hurt because the relationship won't last, and you will be terribly sad when the end comes, I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying the present and being happy right now. I think people have the tendency to think that if a relationship ends, then it "failed." But I think if both people got some happiness out of it, had some good times, and unselfishly shared a part of themselves, then you can look at it as a good experience even if it's over. Maybe it won't end, but if it does, and you are both better people for having known the other, that can be healthy.

And I don't even know you, and I think you're worthy of love and there are definitely people out there who will see that and give it to you.

Good luck!