Been Lurking for a While... Time to say, "Hello!"

[Lark]

Hello everyone.

I am not going to spend a lot of time talking about myself. I just wanted to introduce myself.
I have been having a difficult time over the past few months dealing with depression and this has mostly been a new experience to me. I have had other issues in the past, but nothing quite like this. I have found myself drawn to Paul's podcast and this community. I have yet to hear my story, but I can relate to a lot of things that have been discussed on the podcast and the forum. And although it isn't much, I do feel a little less alone. I finally started a blog yesterday. Something I have thought about doing for sometime now, there isn't much there yet, but I wanted to share it with you all. Because I feel if anyone can understand my struggles it would be this community.
I look forward to participating with the community, assuming I am welcomed (sad, that I would feel that needed to be said). <-- Attention seeking behavior much?

My blog can be found at... http://myoverlyanalyticalmind.blogspot.com/

Thank you,
Lark

[Anne]

Yay for you reaching out. Consider yourself welcomed.

[Lark]

Thank you so much for the welcome...

I have been reaching out for some time now, just not getting what I need. I am hoping that these methods will help. I would do just about anything to stop feeling this way. I am taking my recovery very seriously. Right now, it just feels like its getting worse. But I am hanging in, and I won't give in. To what I don't know... Oh, I am so tired and sad right now. I cannot write anymore.

Thank you again,
Lark

[Anne]

I hope your blog writing makes it a little easier for you. I always found writing so alleviating. And reading too. Reading how other people dealt with pain and fear.

[Lark]

Yes.. It is helping quite a lot to read and respond to others. I have had a few difficult evenings where I sat down and started reading and responding to posts and after a while I was feeling better. Tonight is one of those times. The little bits of peace here and there make it worth it. Same reason I do a lot of walking, taking walks tends to clear my mind too. Sometimes I feel like I am just chasing that dragon though, I have taken four 30 min walks in a day before just trying to keep that feeling going. And writing and reading for hours just to stay a little happier. The blog helps too, but I feel it is more of a journal at this point. I hope I get to the point where it is more of a blog. I'm hanging in there though, I refuse to give up. If not for anything else, but for my daughter. She is so worried about me. She has never seen me like this in all her 19 years. Anyway, even though I feel things have gotten worse for me, tonight is okay. Right now, I am feeling okay. I hope to get some decent rest tonight.

[Jenny Jump]

Welcome, Lark. Glad you're lurking no more. Welcome home.

[Lark]

Thank you Jenny!

It is good to feel welcomed. I have so much love for all the people involved in this community Paul has created by opening up and sharing it with the world. It's an important thing that has happened here. It has opened so many eyes and made people feel a lot "less alone". The more I involve myself with it the more I want to do the same. I want to help others, I think I have always wanted to. But I think I have been doing it in an unhealthy manner for a long time. Hopefully I can eventually work out the differences and make it work for myself and everyone else. Hence the reason I started my blog, in hopes someone else could relate and feel less alone. And of course in hopes of finding others more like myself so I too feel less alone. So I can make those connections with others and.... Whoa! Where did all that come from?

I was just writing in to say thanks Jenny, so again thanks

[Jenny Jump]

I think you'll find the more you take care of yourself, the more it advertises the importance of self-care to others. We each have the opportunity to change the stigma of mental illness by talking openly and honestly about it, but by also being careful to take the best care of ourselves.

[weary]

Lark, I just read your blog posts, and I want to thank you for sharing what you're going through in such a frank and open way. I hope that you are able to continue to blog, and I just want to let you know that people are reading it (at least I am) and seeing some of what I go through expressed in your words. Well done. Thanks.

[Lark]

Wow, thank you... That brings a genuine smile to my face. It means the world to me that you would say so. Pouring my heart out doesn't come easy, at least not with strangers, but I don't really feel like you here are strangers.

Again, thank you.. I am going to keep trying good or bad to keep with it. If for no other reason than the way it makes me feel when I finish a post.