I have no clue

[holdenalix]

I am sorry if you have a hard time understanding and for my spelling issues.
I have no clue what to wright or who will read this. I is the first time for me doing this so bear with me. I have ADHD for all my life , depressed since I was a kid, in and out of different thratepary for most of my life, on and off different drugs for a long time. I have been sober for 15 years. I have been afraid to open up to my therpists, I never told anyone some of things that are in my head or thought. a few months ago I sent an email to Paul opening up to him. To my surprise he took time out of his life to answer to me. I went to AA for about 3 or more years, I also went to SA witch are all 12 step programs. I have not been to one in a very long time, what it made me feel like is what a bunch of winers, and I can get enough of people wining at work or home. I also don't have my own theripests. At this point I am stuck. My wife is very frustrated with me, because of my drepression and my adhd and all the things that come with that. She feels that I am not helping out enough with the kids, cleaning, and what ever come with that. We also have a daughter who has some major issues also. At this point I don't know what to do, my wife understands some of my issues, but wants to deal with our daughter. what I am felling is frustrated, worried , greedy. I know I should not feel this way interms of my daughter. The major things that are happening are me eating poorly, Gaining wight, started smoking agein, exersizing, I also sleep a lot. I keep telling myself I should change in my mind or to people at work. but it never happens.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello, holdenalix! Welcome to our little forum!

I read your post. I have some of the problems that you described, but I feel incompetent to try to give you advice. But I honor your pain and I want you to know that you do not deserve the pain and suffering that you experienced.

Feeling envious of the attention a wife gives to a child is something I understand. It does not make you a bad person.

Please take care, hope to see your written contributions to the threads here! All the best.