New to the Forum

[mouse]

Hi, all.

I've been listening to the podcast for awhile now but have never really participated on the forums. I find it hard to talk about my emotions with the people in my life and hope that the anonymity of the forum will help me to get some things off my chest. I've dealt with generalized anxiety and depression from a pretty young age, starting at 9-10 years old. I particularly have trouble with social anxiety and maintaining relationships. I think a lot of this stems from several emotionally abusive relationships during my childhood, with both my parents and a few awful faux friends. As a result, I've put up a lot of walls.

Things have been a lot better since I got into college, but this last year has been really hard. I recently graduated with a degree in History and am now faced with deciding what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I've always wanted to go to graduate school, but a particularly heinous graduate-level class this past fall has led me to doubt my abilities. I'm terrified of failing.

I'm taking a year off school to try to figure things out, but I can't help but feel overwhelmed. Hopefully this forum will provide an outlet to share some of my darker thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. I look forward to talking with you all.

[oak]

Welcome. Good to have you!

[Fargin]

Welcome,

Took me 38 years to fully identify the walls I build to cope with ridicule and aggression, from those who were suppose to be caring. I realized I build my own prison and have slowly begun making holes and doorways in them(Don't know if I took the metaphor too far). These walls were my survival, so moving them is fearful work and something I probably couldn't do myself with out help from mentalpod and therapy.