Long Story Short?

[TokenLoather]

Hello all!

I'm a 32 year old female in a long term, committed relationship (livin' in sin), and I have been listening to the podcast for a little over a year now. Listening to Paul and guests has played a great part in my seeking therapy, even though I'm temporarily on hiatus. I've been able to finally acknowledge (rather than going to great lengths to deny) the huge impact of being bullied and outcast and being subject to emotional neglect throughout childhood as they relate to my low self esteem and crippling fears of judgement, failure, and life in general. I am honestly at a point in life that I am pissed at myself for denying a chance at a normal, balanced life with FRIENDS, adventure and the ability to let go and move on.

I am determined to give up alcohol as a means of coping with anxiety and regret. I am determined to make changes to help get past the loneliness and isolation. And I'm going to give myself a break so I can enjoy what I have working for me already!

So, I think this is now beyond "intro" territory, but thank you Paul for doing what you do and thanks to anyone still reading!

-K

[gfyourself]

Glad you are here!

[bigeekgirl]

I've been able to finally acknowledge (rather than going to great lengths to deny) the huge impact of being bullied and outcast and being subject to emotional neglect throughout childhood as they relate to my low self esteem and crippling fears of judgement, failure, and life in general.

Wow. That sentence. I'm right there. It's funny how "crippling fears" is a term, ya know, but I don't feel like most people how literally I mean it.

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find comfort here.

[DingoDad]

Hi there,
A lot of what you said in your original post struck a chord within me, especially the being an outcast part. To this day, I spend so much time feeling and acting like an outcast, I hide from the world, avoid interactions with people, and have pretty bad social anxiety. I gave up alcohol almost entirely three years ago, but traded it for isolation as a coping mechanism. Thank you for sharing!