Holding Pattern

[PrisMelia]

I am 62 having had major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder diagnosed since my early 20's. Been on medication most all my life. Suffering from ahedonia for many years. Feels like I'm in a holding pattern just waiting to die. Used to knit, crochet, sew, paint, scrapbook, read tons, love to spend the day at the ocean, be with my kids and grandkids...more and more. Now content to sit at home and play silly games on FaceBook and do the bare minimum to get by. Procrastinate everything. I do enjoy the companionship with my little dog. Working full-time but only want to stay home on my days off. Even hate going grocery shopping. Some days I go out and find the lamest excuses to turn around and return home. Never felt like I fit in anywhere with anyone. Whenever I do go out and successfully reach my destination the focus is when I'm able to return home...that is the only place in the world I am feel safe and comfortable--just me and my little dog. Glad I found The Mental Illness Happy Hour pod cast on iTunes and will continue listening.

[Scratch]

Hey Prismalia, your little dog sounds cute, you should post a picture. Dogs are great companions! I am sorry to hear you're having trouble feeling okay outside of your house, I truly hope things become easier on you. I think you should try to get back into some of those hobbies. My mum knits and it keeps her sane. The Facebook games are designed to keep procrastinators captive. If you enjoy them that's a positive, but if you are bored of them and just going through the motions they're just a habit or an addiction.

I never felt I fit in with anyone either and find it hard to be around people. Please take care of yourself and I wish you all the best

XOXO