Nervous as HELL!

[BorderlinePatrol]

Hello Everyone! I'm new here (obviously) but have been listening to the podcast pretty much nonstop for several months now. I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and have been in therapy for a little over a year. I was raised in a REALLY fucked up household. Emotionally and psychologically abusive dad and passive "Oh that's just your dad being your dad" mom. I was molested for three years by another girl at the daycare/after school program I went to and my parents pretty much ignored it and said I was making things up. Then I was raped on my 21st birthday. I never told anyone until a little while ago.

I work as a therapist with adolescents who have experienced trauma in an inpatient facility. I am VERY hesitant to discuss my issues with others cause I am so afraid of judgment for being BPD and working in mental health. This disorder has a MAJOR stigma in the mental health field, even though increasing research shows that it (along with all other personality disorders) are on a spectrum and not all borderlines are created equal. I used to have major issues (understatement), which I'm sure I'll get more into as I hang out here, but therapy has really helped me feel more in control and trust myself. I love working with kids and relating to them. I don't self-disclose to them for obvious reasons but I definitely think that the empathy I show in my sessions is a different level than most of them have experienced with other therapists. Not at ALL saying that I'm the greatest therapist ever and that all other therapists who don't have trauma suck ass, but it's just a different approach and perspective that I think I give.

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell. Feel free to ask questions or whatever! I joined this forum because I spend so much time encouraging others to find support so they don't feel so alone...and then I realized that I feel pretty alone sometimes.

[bridgetbones]

You sound like you've made the great choices in dealing with your diagnosis. I'm sure your compassion is enhanced by your experiences, though I'm sorry you had to go through what you did.
Don't be nervous. I'm glad you're here.

[BorderlinePatrol]

Thank you

[Murphy]

Welcome!

I'm so sorry for everything you've gone though. It's great that you're working through your trauma and with your disorder.

I'm sure you bring a great perspective to your therapy.

[BorderlinePatrol]

I try

[rc409]

Nice going! A someone who benefited form folks like you, I do remember those who were a cut above the rest, and it sound as if you are.

[octopus1221]

Hi. Thanks for sharing your history and current situation. I often wonder how I can be so good at reading/helping others when I have such a difficult time getting my own shit together. I guess the experiences we have give us a special insight and nurture empathy in us. I know what you mean about the rep. of BPD, and I do think there is a new understanding of this disorder that is developing in the MH professional community. Thank you for working with adolescents. I have great admiration or individuals who have the skill set to do this!

[BorderlinePatrol]

Thank you all so much. I've been crazy busy lately so I apologize for the late response but I truly appreciate the support