YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Thanks, Moe. You're posts are always so thoughtful and thought-provoking. I just remembered another thing that should be on my list.

8. There is inherent value in serving others. (That's value to the server, not just those who are served.) It's subtle though, and it's really hard to do when I'm in a lot of pain.

dare i say it / Dan wrote:There is inherent value in serving others. (That's value to the server, not just those who are served.) It's subtle though, and it's really hard to do when I'm in a lot of pain

This is a really good one. I am ashamed how much trouble I have in volunteering, my self-absorption and my impatience and my irritability bring out the worst in me to be too selfish to volunteer. I know, intellectually, I am depriving myself of many benefits.

I want to respond to the other posts, but it's late and I need sleep and today was a bad day for me. But!

The thing about volunteering helping is a serious truth. It's hard to get out there, but you put one foot in front of the other and you find yourself in a place where the only thing people know about you is that you are a caring person going out of your way to do something people usually only ever talk about doing (we all have intentions to help in the community and volunteer, but taking the steps sets you a bit apart). The feeling of being in that kind of environment, being selfless, and being seen in this completely different way from any other arena in your life, it does immense good.

For me, I have a tendency toward agoraphobia and isolation. I kind of went on a slow shut down last November after losing my job and my Dad dying. I already had mental problems, but that sent me on a bit of a tailspin. I stopped driving most places, ruled out anywhere requiring a highway drive, barely left the house, was drinking a lot. I was jobless and just immensely depressed. What made me get out and volunteer wasn't a pure or good emotion. It was jealousy of a friend I envied because I thought she was a better person than me with a better life. And so I went to volunteer on a lark, as if to say, I may be a piece of shit but here's ONE way I can prove I'm an ok person. (Kind of one way to say, here's one thing that proves I even deserve a friend like I have). And really, volunteering turned my life around. It worked as a sort of brain kick-start, got me seeing more sunlight, got me putting one foot in front of the other again. If you screw up, nobody kicks you when you're down. After all, you're there just to lend a hand. How could they? It's a very positive thing to do. I would say my situation was pretty severe, and it really changed things for me.

I'm in no way cured of my afflictions, but I'm not holed up inside anymore. *wink*

Also, I haven't been in a long time due to conflicts with the job I started (soon after volunteering and gaining some kind of confidence to interview), and the mood benefit it was giving me is a noticed deficit now.

It doesn't just have intangible benefits, but very tangible ones, I think, for a lot of people.

cyanidebreathmint, this is a great inspiring story. I am so happy for you and your new confidence. All the best, cheers!

That's beautiful, Kim!

Thanks guys! I feel like I sold it pretty well. It certainly got me over a very rough patch, but life's this work thing that keeps going, you know?

I like your 8 commandments.

The (6) 'not entitled to anything' one is interesting because most of us live in societies where we do have certain rights we take for granted, or are entitled to. I think our founding philosophies really do influence our societies and ourselves in fundamental ways. Most of us agree on the negative values. We have the right not to be killed, and the right not to be harmed bodily for no reason. But the positive ones are the contentious ones- like, do we have the right to healthcare and food? We can argue all day about it, but I think the point of what you were saying is that- well, yeah, we can argue all day about it but how does the world really work? Bottom line, the way we are treated to the ways we feel entitled to be treated is when we participate in a pact of some level of love and reciprocity. If not with love, at least respect. We're upholding a social pact. And we should feel responsible to maintain it, for sure.

Another way to put it is that justice is not a natural law.

Deep Mining, Thread two...

I always wonder why people leave the forum. This is a wonderful place on the Internet - so encouraging and non-judgemental. The only thing I can think is that people want to interact with Paul G. and are disappointed he doesn’t really frequent here. Lotta pain out there, lotta people needlessly going it alone. Everyone take care out there…

I wonder about that as well. The podcast seems pretty popular....
I'd like to think that a lot of the posters have gotten better, and don't need help any more.
(Silly me. See my post about Christmas. )

But I'd like to pick up on some of the ideas I've found in these threads, even just for my own benefit. Good thinking prompts....

SD