New Here:

[Spiderling]

Hello all!

New to the forum but a long time fan of the podcast.
I'm 34.
I struggle a lot with PTSD and anxiety. For the past year or so I've been without a job or health insurance, so I was without medication and the lack of meds and income really exascerbated a lot of my symptoms.

I have a job now and have been back on meds for a bit, but I don't feel like they are doing much good. I've been trying to get into an affordable therapy program, but it's tough to find one that I can manage, even now that I've got health insurance again. I struggle with panic attacks, heart palpitations and I carry peppermints everywhere because my stomach is always churning.

I am also a recovering anorexic. Most of my past therapy was in relation to that, but there are some issues I never got to address. My experience with therapists has been mixed and that't partly why I am nervous to try again. My food and exercise issues are getting better, but I still don't have a great body image. Then again, who does?

The PTSD is from having been raped when I was 15. I had kind of sealed off that part of my life and thought that I was over it, but more recently I was raped again and it really reinforced the fact that I never dealt with all the trauma from the first time. So...there's that. Oh, and I was in an abusive relationship for over 6 years that included sexual assault and stalking.

Thankfully I'm in a much better place now relationship-wise, but I still struggle with a lot of repercussions from my past. I moderate a blog for survivors that examines rape culture in our society and helps survivors deal with navigating the world after having been through sexual assault or rape. It's pretty therapeutic for me, but I feel like sometimes I treat it almost as a penance for the failings I feel like I had in dealing with my own assaults properly.

Oh yeah, I was raised catholic, so there's all kinds of shame and guilt there too. whee!

On a happier note, here are some things I enjoy:
Spiders
Books
Long hikes in the forest
Dogs
Gaming (tabletop and console)
writing

Glad to be here and excited to be a part of the forum!

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Spiderling, welcome to our little forum! Make yourself at home in the threads and topics here!

Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – this also allows you to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.

Cool to hear that you volunteer your time to be a blog moderator for survivors. Please take care, all the best, keep the lines of communication open, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

[NeedAmor]

hi.