New & Verbally Constipated
Posted: February 23rd, 2015, 11:33 am
Brand Spankin' New here. After listening to so many guests of the show now and hearing surveys read I don't even know what to say about me. Truth is my life story is tragic, filled with trauma, but also lots of triumph over obstacles, continued management of a life with physical and mental illness, and living a fairly normal and happy life in spite of my history. But holy shit it's such a huge ball of stuff. I'm almost 46 and the tragic portions of my epic, Lifetime-worthy miniseries starts from birth basically. I feel like if I start with specifics and tap that keg I will word vomit all over the place, which results in me clamming up and not talking.
Well, that was a fun little trip into my psyche now wasn't it? Like I said in my profile, I've had a lot, and still have a lot, but, I am an amazingly happy person now (not fake Brady Bunch happy) and have a lovely family, my husband and kids are my world, and somehow he and I have managed to create a loving and mentally healthy and non-dysfunctional family life in spite of the both of us having NO examples to really draw on that were good ones. I credit this to a lot of work on ourselves and awareness of how fucked up our families of origin were. I really think awareness can get you far in life. Meds have helped in the past, I don't need them now for other physical/medical reasons that are long and complicated, but after all the therapy and meds and inner work I'm somehow sane.
I have a black belt in self talk and have to use i continually since the physical challenges I deal with can wear anyone down whether they are chemically depressed or not. I can't measure my life by the standards most people use or I will feel like an utter failure most of the time. Some days, showering, making dinner, and being loving towards my family is a big, accomplished day. Laughing at myself because if you read this whole thing you are probably thinking "wow I'm glad she didn't feel like talking a lot.'
I look forward to reading about others and maybe making a friend or two here
I have so much love and admiration for Paul and all of the guests on the show who bear their soul for all of us to learn from. The healing facilitated here is awe inspiring.
Well, that was a fun little trip into my psyche now wasn't it? Like I said in my profile, I've had a lot, and still have a lot, but, I am an amazingly happy person now (not fake Brady Bunch happy) and have a lovely family, my husband and kids are my world, and somehow he and I have managed to create a loving and mentally healthy and non-dysfunctional family life in spite of the both of us having NO examples to really draw on that were good ones. I credit this to a lot of work on ourselves and awareness of how fucked up our families of origin were. I really think awareness can get you far in life. Meds have helped in the past, I don't need them now for other physical/medical reasons that are long and complicated, but after all the therapy and meds and inner work I'm somehow sane.
I have a black belt in self talk and have to use i continually since the physical challenges I deal with can wear anyone down whether they are chemically depressed or not. I can't measure my life by the standards most people use or I will feel like an utter failure most of the time. Some days, showering, making dinner, and being loving towards my family is a big, accomplished day. Laughing at myself because if you read this whole thing you are probably thinking "wow I'm glad she didn't feel like talking a lot.'
I look forward to reading about others and maybe making a friend or two here
I have so much love and admiration for Paul and all of the guests on the show who bear their soul for all of us to learn from. The healing facilitated here is awe inspiring.