Turning into a realist not a pessimist
Posted: March 27th, 2015, 2:52 pm
So this has been a very rough 5 years and the last few weeks have been especially bad ... A lot of highs and lows. Last night I missed my ex so much I crief over it. I had an interview for a live-in nanny job but she clearly was not too fond of me so it was very awkward... That kind of got me down but then I get a phone call from my friend. She was supposed to let me stay with her for the month until I got a new place to get out of my living situation and she told me her best friend needs to move in with her because she just broke up with her boyfriend. See now again I have to get replaced by someone else and have to get over it... And I am exhausted and I'm tired of hearing how another window open and really great things will come and things will work out when it doesn't and it's been going on for a really long time and I'm going to be 34 this year...
So my last resort is i signed up for seeking arrangements and I have a special date next week. I am an educated cute girl and if I'm going to be treated like a sex object And older guys really like me I might as well make it a business deal! He seems nice he's a lawyer and that's cool I was thinking of going to law school one day. I was a pre law minor in college. If that doesn't work I may ask a friend lives up north if I could stay for a little while look for a job up there and then possibly move back home...
It still makes me so angry though that these people can throw me away and there's at Peace and they get rewarded with relationships and friends and jobs and I get screwed over and I just need to deal.... They don't have to answer for anything. Screwed up my last chance at love with my ex so much and I will always love him but I have to be realistic and except my lot in life and I think a lot of people don't.
So my last resort is i signed up for seeking arrangements and I have a special date next week. I am an educated cute girl and if I'm going to be treated like a sex object And older guys really like me I might as well make it a business deal! He seems nice he's a lawyer and that's cool I was thinking of going to law school one day. I was a pre law minor in college. If that doesn't work I may ask a friend lives up north if I could stay for a little while look for a job up there and then possibly move back home...
It still makes me so angry though that these people can throw me away and there's at Peace and they get rewarded with relationships and friends and jobs and I get screwed over and I just need to deal.... They don't have to answer for anything. Screwed up my last chance at love with my ex so much and I will always love him but I have to be realistic and except my lot in life and I think a lot of people don't.