Coming out of the closet... again

[shockedinSF]

Hello. I just wanted to formally introduce myself and say Hi! I am just coming out of some Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) for the first time and I am looking to connect with others. I met someone really great through this website and I wanted to get a little more comfortable with telling people that I am BiPolar. I am starting to feel like the fact that I have been afraid to tell people about my diagnosis throughout my life has been what landed me on the surgical table getting Zapped with 12 sessions of ECT this year. I was in the closet about my Bipolar Disorder, so I am coming out again (I am gay too but that was not as hard to talk about for me). I was so depressed that I acted fake and happy and never truly came to terms with my deep deep depression. This was a year from hell, which ended with isolation and shame. Coming here to introduce myself and say hello to you beautiful people is my way of saying that I refuse to allow Bipolar Disorder to kill me. Nevermind that I can barely remember what I did yesterday. My short term memory is shot, but I have a smile on my face today... I hope that's a good thing. Time will tell... Thank god I am allowed to take mood stabilizers this morning! Woo Hoo! I was just allowed to restart my meds. I guess that's all I really have to say. I just wanted to see if anyone can relate to what I have got going on. Peace

[Fargin]

I was so depressed that I acted fake and happy and never truly came to terms with my deep deep depression.

In my closet, I was a terrified little kid and I faked being a happy go lucky adult.

Keep fighting the good fight and welcome to the community!