YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi, I'm Dan and I have PTSD. I'm a Gulf War veteran, but I had to come home to find the violence to have an issue.
It was 19 years ago, but it seems like yesterday.
I'll tell you that IT GETS BETTER.
Don't do it alone. You won't be able to do it that way. You can manage it with time and effort.

It also breaks my heart to hear so many people feeling ashamed for their sexual desires. I'm experienced in the BDSM lifestyle and I can tell you it can be extremely healthy and not at all contradictory to your sense of respect and dignity.
I just want be of service, at least a little bit, to those struggling like I do sometimes.

Welcome Dan! Glad to hear a positive recovery story.

BDSM for the win! I'm lucky enough to be part of the queer community that really has no qualms about "alternative" anything (though BDSM is very common anyway...) and I have to agree that letting yourself be sexual in a way that is fulfilling to you is key to all around well being.

Thanks for sharing on the podcast! You seem like a lovely, articulate man. I am halfway through your episode, and made some notes as I listened:

* "Take care of what's next": good advice.

* Thanks for your service as a park ranger: I love the outdoors, and park rangers are an underappreciated resource in keeping our gorgeous nature safe for everyone.

* Yes, I have also found it is extremely important for men to have men helping and advising them. In fact, that could be one of the most important factors I've observed of why some men fail and some men succeed: other guys to help them along.

* It is incredibly powerful when teams of men help each other. Sometimes we have to call each other on our BS, ruthlessly. That is the only way to heal some situations. I like how you mentioned that sometimes we have to call out men who say they want to improve, then do nothing.

* In the last six months, after having thought about Hurricane Katrina, I am creating a bug out/in plan. Your powerful story of (1) staying in the van [ie bugging in] and (2) the vest [ie prep....details!] really resonated with me. I want to be putting on the metaphorical vest, so to speak. [Example: this month I bought a window hammer and life vest for my car; I am not drowning in my car for a lack of preparation. I might drown anyway, but not if I can help it

Thanks for your courage in sharing. I am going to listen to the rest of the episode when I go back to work, and I look forward to hearing the rest of your story.

Man to man, I think you're on your way, man. Good luck out there. If a successful man is someone who is trying, hopeful and acting no matter his current circumstances, then keep sticking around successful men.


Edit: Another thing you said that really touched me is when you stated to wives: "Your husband is a great man."

If I may rant for a moment.

America (the only culture I'm familiar with) of course has amazing women and children. I appreciate people of all genders, and will limit my remarks below to men.

What stuns me is the inexplicable non-celebration of the greatness of the "ordinary" man.

Thinking of my own experience, daily, immediately two men who come to mind: both would be easy to look down on, and each has reasons to have low self-esteem, but both are cheerful, contributing to society and our organization in ways that big shots will never notice. Never.

It is fine to celebrate athletes, musicians, and actors: they dedicate themselves to the highest expressions of artistic merit.

I suggest we also celebrate (and pay) the men who do thankless jobs for low pay. I don't need a basketball player, but I very much appreciate the sanitation worker (who some would unfairly call a "garbage man", and while he is a man he is not made of garbage; he is human) I see each day. He says hello, gives me a little advice and encouragement, and wishes me a good day. I've met a few professional athletes, and none of them gave me the time of day.

Not that "great men" aren't good: that "ordinary" men are often great men. And sadly far too often much too underappreciated.

Hi Dan

It must have been so tough for you 19 years ago...and to suffer from PTSD subsequently... Yeah, time heals somewhat but traumatic events are always going to stay with us, I think... My depression and experience is so not as traumatic as what you have gone through, but I'm still suffering 20 years later... It's inspirational that you are holding your head high and want to encourage other people who are suffering as well. I'm sure there will be a lot of people who will benefit from your replies to their posts.

With my daily panic attacks, I feel hopeless that I will be able to do normal things again, but I need to remember that my heart needs more time to heal. Even though I've been depressed so many years, I've still wanted to reject it and think that I was a normal person. It's all pride. And so I never slowed down to give myself what I really needed, which was to rest and let myself heal. I know that there are people who can't rest and heal due to their financial situations and so I should feel incredibly lucky that I am able to do that, but the guilt of that won't let me...twisted, I know...

Anyway, thanks for the uplifting post.